autumnleaf16

First of all, for those who doesn’t know Dojinshi (同人誌) are basically kind of like fan manga, that’s the best way I can think of to explain it. For those who are unsure please cheek on line. But anyway, on Saturday night I went to the Shitenhouji community that I belong in and I saw that if you actually log in then you can see so much more stuff, and one of it is this dojinshi. Since the person who put it up ask us to not directly link it I wouldn’t, it’s the least I can do to thank the person for being so kind by not only putting it up, they also provided translations. But I am sure they would not mind if I sort of suggests others to read it.

Warning: this doujinshi features same sex pairing so if that kind of stuff offend you then don’t say I didn’t warn you. And don’t read any more of this entry if you can’t stand that kind of stuff: fan fiction and/or same sex pairing. But the drawings are so beautiful. I know it’s not the author’s drawing but it is still so beautiful!!! And I love the idea of the story. Ok, it is a doujinshi with this pairing: Watanabe/Shiraishi and Chitose/Shiraishi. And what is amazing is that the author of that doujinshi is able to touch your heart (ok, this is a very cliché saying but that is what I felt as I read it), even though it is really short, only nine pages. So you go to the Shintehouji community (which you can find at my user info, since I belong in it) and once there, log in and click doujinshi and you should be able to find it. It’s called Cigar.

Ok…some of my opinions about it. The main character is Watanabe Osamu and I love being able to see a doujinshi/fam fiction that focuses on his character, and to be honest, I really like the idea of Watanabe/Shiraishi as a pair, that’s my favourite same sex pairing in the whole of prince of tennis (I’ve actually read quite some different ones too, including Chitose/Shiraishi, Kenya/Shiraishi, Shiraishi/Fuji, Shiraishi/Yukimura and even this Shiraishi/Atobe one. I am at the stage where I just want to read stories with him so I don’t care what they are about, as long as they are well written then I’ll read them! But I do wish there is more fan fiction with Watanabe/Shiraishi). So Watanabe is portrayed really beautifully in the doujinshi and Chitose hardly come out so can’t say anything about him. But as for Shiraishi, to be honest, I think the person portrayed Shiraishi rather fragile in that one. He appears as rather melancholic, which is not exactly the way I think of him, I think he should be more confident although I wouldn’t say it is out of character, as I think that doujinshi showed Watanabe seeing him off guarded. And of course, no one (not even Atobe) is confident the whole time…

Basically what I am saying is this: it is really worth a read if you don’t mind either fan fiction and/or same sex pairings.

So as a result I was suddenly filled with a desire to see some fan arts (rather crazy considering that I should be sleeping) and I did find some really pretty ones of Watanabe and Shiraishi, as well as ones that…*cough cough* made me quickly close the window. At one stage my sister stopped by my door way, which gave me a big fright (I wasn’t seeing any dodgy ones but she doesn’t really approve of that kind of stuff so yeah…Well, disapprove just in the sense of ‘I can’t believe you are seeing this’ and ‘You are crazy’, not so much the ‘You are sick’) (inner voice: so why are you broadcasting your crime on the net for all to see? Well…she doesn’t’ really visit here and the warning beforehand should be enough to prevent her from reaching here. Heck, she would make that comment even if I was jsut reading fan fiction, or if the picture is just any fan art, even if the picture just have Shiraishi by himself). My self defence to the slightly dodgy fan arts: I happened to stumble across them.

I remember that some while ago I posted this fan fiction pairing list for Fushigi Yugi, Genbu Kaiden and Inuyasha, maybe I should do one for Shiraishi. Basically I just talked about what I think of certain pairing, whether I like them or not.

Author’s Note: this is kind of a default chapter in a way, as it was suppose to be in the middle of the last chapter. but I decide to make it into a new chapter as it got quite long, and I like most part, so I don’t want to delete it. Basically this chapter focuses solely on Sesshomaru (although he does naturally think of Sango). I won’t say anyway because I don’t want to give much away so all the explanations would be in the author’s note at the end.
Mamoru means protect, to protect.

Ironically, as she used lies to explain herself, he ended up convincing others that the rumours which had begun were truths.
The current region of the West was much like the son that she ruled on behalf of. By being able to hide her emotions so well, most believe them to be non-existent.
That was why, she could tell that her son had changed easily, as they were too similar.
“So the stories I’ve been hearing are true.” She began easily, not taking her eyes away from the infant her son was holding protectively. “My son is travelling with a human girl, and has recently acquired another human infant.”
“Have your eyes blinded your sense of smell?” he immediately retorted back.
For the first time in his life, he was awarded with the satisfaction of surprising his mother. Her eyes narrowed at the same time as a frown appeared on both her face and mouth, and she even took a step toward him in disbelieve.
“A hanyou…”
“My daughter.” Her son stated this so calmly- as if him siring a child with a human was not the most impossible thing. She had always thought that the only way for the West to have an heir would be forcing him into an arranged relationship, as he seemed both uninterested and unconcerned with such things.
The idea had remained in her head due to the obvious reason that it was impossible for her to carry it out.
“She might be my only heir.” He continued easily, his tone almost too calm. “Although I might be able to have a son when I am reunited with the human who will be my mate.”
“Your children will be hanyou…”
“They will rule as my heirs, because I will only sire children with her. And I,” he would have rested his hand on the hilt of Tokijin to emphasize his point if it wasn’t for the fact that it was already engaged in another task. “I will protect them from anyone that dares to bear them any ill.”
“You will protect them…”
Once more, she recollected the final time she saw her mate- it was just before his elder son saw him for the last time too. The two of them had stood side by side to look at their son, one of the few things that brought them together.
“He can be very strong, but he will never be strong enough if he only live for himself.” Had been the final statement of the one who sired her son. “If he have no one to protect then he will continue living recklessly, nor would he be able to reach his maximum abilities- he would always just see that level in others as they protect their loved ones from him.”
“And we are to be blamed for that.” She admitted, one hand tugging at the fur she wrapped around her shoulder, her status was a constant reminder of why she entered into such a relationship in the first place. “We taught him wrongly., but we might still be able to correct him. That is why I ask you to not go to her in your condition now, as you will surely die.”
“I cannot abandon her!”
“Then you would abandon your own son.” She reasoned. “How would I be able to let him understand the importance of protecting someone when you will die from it?”
But he still left, and that was also the day when her son finally closed himself completely due to his obsessive quest for power. He even neglected his duties as the lord of the West by leaving his territory. She realized that the reason he had once protected the West was not due to any love for these land and people, but for the sake of showing all that he could do what his father did.
Her hand closed over the necklace that Inunotaisho had gave her. She was meant to use to help her son grow stronger when he was deemed worthy enough to know of tenseiga’s other secrets by having gained compassion.
It seemed that she would still be using this meido-seki to let him wield tenseiga with a higher level of power, only that it would be done in a different way. In a way that neither of them had even considered to be possible.

He knew his mother well enough to detect the light that suddenly appeared in her eyes, as well as recognizing it as a bad sign.
“I had been waiting for you for a different reason.” She began, her lips curled into a sweet smile as she launched her bait by dangling the necklace in front of him. “I can show you a way to make tenseiga more powerful. Of course, such abilities do not come freely, you will have to make a journey that is relatively dangerous.”
Though his outer expressions remained immobile, he was fuming inwardly. He should have realized that just as his mother had always been able to hit him at the one spot that would hurt, she would be able to find a way to rob him of his original certainty.
Tenseiga…how long had he spent in cursing his father for giving him a sword that he could not use to kill? Even though he would now be grateful to the blade forever for having brought Sango to him, he still desired more.
The truth was that he would not be satisfied until the sword let him used it as his father had been allowed to use it.
But the consequences of accepting his mother’s offer was too great. He had never worried about what might happen with his death until he met her, and then held their child in his arm. He realized that he could not act in a reckless fashion anymore as his death would leave both his daughter and Rin without someone to look after them.
He would never let his daughter grew up as Inuyasha had. Wasn’t that why he returned to this palace in the West? Because it was safer.
I made a promise to your mother, he told Namida silently, I will keep it. If I fail…I cannot face Sango again.
As he turned around to look at Rin, the little girl finally smiled again, and he vowed that he would protect Rin as well. She was like a daughter to him now, and he owed her many thanks for all that she did: to let him start caring for another. Without her, he might never have saved Sango as he would not feel a need to do so.
“No.” he declared out. “I will not make this journey.”
The sudden murmuring of the blade forced him to finally hand his daughter to Rin in order for him to pull the blade out and examine it.
“Tenseiga heard what I could not hear.” His mother explained as she returned the necklace to its original position again. “It consider you as worthy as wielder as your father was. Tenseiga will now let you use it as it had allowed your father to use it.”

He ended up sitting at one corner of the garden with their family’s’ faithful hounds in front of him. He was glad of their company as unlike all the other yokai in this palace, they did not understand that what he had announced a few hours ago was an unusual thing.
“You must all look after Namida and Rin.” He ordered, aware of the murmurings that could not be destroyed despite his warnings.
Not for the first time, he turned to thoughts of Sango, she must be with her friends by now. It was strange how she could still make him behave in such a foolish fashion even when she was no longer beside him. He ended up wandering whether she was thinking of him, and being slightly angry by the idea that she might be distracted from doing so due to that monk.
He knew that it was better for them to part as travelling with her would not be safe for their daughter, or for Rin. But he couldn’t help but to imagine about the happiness such a journey would bring.
Once more, the question his mother had asked echoed inside his mind with his answer.
“Are you happy with your actions?”
“If I had not been happy then I would not be sad now.”

Author’s Note: so originally this chapter was just the middle of the last chapter, but as I said I like the result. I guess this shows how much Sesshomaru changed as he want to protect someone very strongly. First of all about tenseiga…in this fan fiction I am saying that Sesshomaru knew that his father could use tenseiga as a weapon instead of just a sword to save people, and since there is the whole idea of tenseiga choosing him to be the wielder, and whether he was worthy enough, I decided to add in the bit of tenseiga letting him use it to a higher level due to hearing him deciding to actually give up the chance of being stronger in order to protect Namida and Rin. I don’t think this is going too far as he did say something like ‘to let this sword gain power due to your life being lost is not worth it’ when Rin died, and Tenseiga does seem to be a sword with a mind of its own much more then tessaiga, as tenseiga often cause Sesshomaru to do something.

Although I have to say, initially I thought about having him make the journey and doing something like the manga, only that it involved both Namida and Sango instead of Rin. I don’t know, probably a scene when he refused to come out without his daughter as he’ll say something like he could not face Sango due to what had happened. But this ended up as the final version and I think this outcome of his realization is quite good too.

Lastly, in regard to him addressing hounds, it seems that yokai are often accompanied by animals that are similar to them, both Koga and Ayame have wolves around them, and that bird princess had a lot of birds with her, while these bat yokai had all these bats, so I guess Sesshomaru and his family would have dogs with them.

Author’s Note: Uso means both lies and lying.

It was raining…
The rain seemed strangely suitable, as she could recollect numerous tales where lovers had either part or reunite in the middle of some form of storm.
The hard droplets of water separated the weak links of the flowers on her head: the last garland Rin would be able to give to her personally. With great reluctance, she let the flowers slide down her hair- now loose from the usual white ribbon as he had took it- and eventually descend down.
Falling so fast that it was impossible for her to catch them.
She felt that the rain was taking away the few physical reminders she had of the past year. The crown of flowers was completely disintegrated now, and she could smell nothing but the bitterness of her tears amidst the rain.
Doing the right thing was hard, but having to come to term with her actions was even more difficult.
She did miss her friends, but she longed for him so much more, as he was the only one who could comfort her completely.
Kagome was a sweet and kind girl, true, but she was never able to understand her loneliness because she was always at the centre of attention by being the only one who could see the shikon shards, as well as being the most important person to at least two men- who would constantly fight over her. Even though Kagome would express embarrassment, Sango knew that she was secretly flattered, as every woman in such a situation would.
Inuyasha…she smiled slightly as she entertained herself with the idea of telling her hanyou friend that not only did she gave birth to his brother’s child, he also intend to make her his mate.
But this would not be happening anytime soon, even though Inuyasha forgave her generously for her previous crime of stealing tessaiga, she doubt that he could accept this news well. Although, she bitterly reasoned, would he really care that much, as his whole mind was dominated by Kagome and Kikyo.
Perhaps she was simply jealous that Kagome could be the most important person to the one that she loved, unlike her. Miroku…she was always wondering whether she was special to him due to his lavish attentions to all those other women, they were rarely alone as his eyes were always wandering.
Unlike Sesshomaru, who never shifted his gaze away from her.
As for Shippo…she was fond of him, but it was obvious that he was more attached to Kagome. To her, Rin had become what Shippo was to Kagome.

She knew that she should be grateful for the rain, as they washed his scent away from her effortlessly, as well as giving her a few more seconds before her friends would sense her. But his scents were a reminder too.
Taking a deep breath she gave Kirara the sign to appear in front of those that she had not seen for a whole year.
Inuyasha and Shippo seemed to have stayed exactly the same, as they were engaged in another of their famous food fights, not far away was Miroku, mediating or thinking about some new plans.
But right now, the only person she could see had altered was Kagome. The younger girl was still wearing that strange top, only that the colour was different. Likewise, her skirt was longer and of a finer pleat. Lastly, her hair was also much shorter.
“Sango-chan!” Kagome immediately buried her into a tight hug, accompanied by Shippo, neither noticing their friend’s nervousness. “Where have you been?”
“You better have a good excuse as we were all so worried!” Inuyasha butted in.
“Sango, I…” Miroku began at the same time, immediately realizing that she was looking at him in a different way…her eyes seemed slightly apologetic and rather cold.
Detaching herself from her friends’ embrace, she began to speak the lies that she had practised with Sesshomaru. The words should be convincing as she had repeated these words over and over until she finally managed to stop crying.
She made up a story of having lost her memory due to the shock of killing her brother after witnessing Miroku’s latest betrayal, and was saved by a hermit who looked after her until she finally recovered in every way.
“Then Kirara found me and at the sight of her I naturally remembered every thing…what I must do.” She ended. This was not a full lie as she was forced to consider how much longer she could hide with Kirara’s arrival.
Despite her practises, she was still rather nervous and even stuttered at one or two stages, but both Kagome and Shippo were so happy that she returned that they pushed away the possibility that she might have been hiding something. As for Inuyasha, he decided that he would accept what she said as the truth until they were proven to be lies.
The only one who was unsatisfied with the story was Miroku, because he still sought for the reason of why she refused to let him embrace her, as well as the cause of the change in the way she looked at him.
“What is it that you are not telling us, Sango?” he asked softly, even though he was desperately hoping that he was wrong.
He truly loved Sango, and he would never sleep with any other women due to her. The problem was that he was a fool by still enjoying the company of other females, as he was unable to resist accompanying a group of young girls the day after their engagement.
But he stopped all this when they found her gone, and he managed to stay true to his moral reform.
“Yes, there is something.” Sango said in equal softness. “Houshi-sama, I break our engagement because I am now engaged to another, to the hermit that saved me. And I will definitely marry him.”
“Sango…”
Suddenly, his broken voice angered her so much along with the slightly accusing eyes of the others. Why were they regarding her as having betrayed Miroku? He was the one who turned to other woman, while she had been driven to despair due to him. Why must she accept his infidelities in the first place? Why was she regarded as the one in the wrong when all she did was to love another when she closed her heart to the one that first broke it?
There were many types of love, and the truth was that a person must have their love returned in order to remain in love. That was why she was able to end her affections towards Miroku even though she once loved him, because Sesshomaru loved her, she would never stop loving him despite being apart from him.
“I did nothing wrong.” She stated as she walked away from them to take out the elaborate kimono that was probably his first gift to her and held it against her.
No, she was wrong, the kimono was not the first gift, it was her life. He had returned her life to her, that was the first thing he gave her. The kimono was the second gift, followed by his love, and then it was their daughter.
Their path crossed only to unwind, but surely they would meet again and remain together, because that was what they both most wanted.
It didn’t matter where they would be, as long as he was with her then she would be happy. There was also their daughter and Rin- they were like her family- what she thought she had lost forever when Kohaku finally died.
“I want only this now.” She whispered as she clutched to the kimono even tighter.

Author’s Note: I am sure I have mentioned this before, but this story’s main focus is on Sango and Sesshomaru, so this is why the others are kind of in the back ground. I think it become really obvious with this chapter, as even though the rest come out, they are not really important. Wow…first chapter where Sango is alone, next chapter would be Sesshomaru, no Sango. The opposite of this chapter. What happened is that this chapter is meant to be like this: Sango thinking, then sees her friend; Sesshomaru comes out- what he does will be shown in the next chapter; and then ends with Sango telling her story to her friends.

I think what Sango did would be quite hard for the rest to accept because in my opinion, Inuyasha and his friends are so tightly packed that you just feel that if Inuyasha and Kagome are going to be together, then Sango and Miroku would be together. So I guess if Sango choose to be with someone else, it almost seems that she is breaking the bond in their group. I don’t know, that is just my opinion. As for the views of love…I don’t know what I feel to that myself, personally I guess that is probably what happens in most case, but I also believe that it is possible you might just love someone forever even if they don’t return your love.

As for Miroku…what happened is that he was just flirting with other women, and that was it. I think Miroku would probably never stop flirting with others, but yet I think to an extent, he would be faithful to Sango in that sense- I really don’t think he would be sleeping with any other woman ever again. But yet I cannot help but to ask: why should Sango have to put up with that? Why can’t she have someone who will be faithful in every way? I guess that is one of the causes of my support of her being with Sesshomaru (along side various reason).

Lastly, there is the little detail of Kagome being in senior high school. That really is a…‘I’m doing this because I suddenly want to.’

Author’s Note: Puraido means pride.

He had knelt by her side and held her hand without any complaint throughout the ordeal, although it must have been very hard for him too, as he could easily lose both of them.
The result of the hardest battle she had fought in was the birth of their daughter.
As her parents had already expected, she was beautiful and perfect, but she must have been unsatisfied at having only surprised them with her early arrival, because she would shock them again with her appearance.
She was like her human mother in every way apart from the unusually sharp nails at the tip of her fingers, and the golden eyes of her yokai father along with having her ears pointed, instead of curved. Unlike her ‘uncle’, however, her ears were not on top of her head like a dog, but at the same place as a human’s.
“It is not impossible to think of her as fully human.” Her mother finally said as she handed her to her father, whose eyes remained tender for the last few months.
“She looks like her mother.” He stated, his lips curled into one of his rare smiles “What will her name be?”
Without discussing it, they both knew that the child would be named by her, as he would be spending more time with their child anyway due to the much shorter life span of a human. It was important for her to name the child to ensure that she would not be forgotten by her daughter.
Initially she thought about following the practise of her people by giving the child an elemental name, but she gave up on the idea due to the arrival of the perfect name.
“Namida.” (As there are no plural in Japanese, Namida can mean both tear and tears. (as in the thing that comes out from your eyes, in case- just in case somehow anyone thought of it as the wrong meaning.) which is not impossible, as sometimes I get so zoned out that really obvious stuff doesn’t really register!!!)
“Are you sure?” he immediately asked, the smile replaced by a frown.
“One day she will be the only one you would be able to shed tears for.” She whispered, her voice rather weak due to childbirth, “Perhaps…perhaps her name will also serve as a reminder of what will happen with her birth.”
“You choose to leave tomorrow?”
She nodded and stretched her hands out toward him, wishing to be able to spend this last night in his embrace.
“This will be hard for Rin to accept. She believes that what happened is a sign that you will stay forever.”
“Instead of the opposite. That is why I said it would be better if I leave before she ends up being too attached…”
“You did. But Rin…Rin was not the only one you should have warned.” He said softly as he handed their daughter to her in order to wrap his one arm around her. “Yet such warnings would be useless. I have no regrets, and I would change nothing.”
That night was the last night they spend together, as their eternity finally shattered.

She was to be dressed in her plain kimono once again with her few worldly possessions clutched in her hands tightly. The difference was that she would be leaving permanently this time, and not all her belongings were taken.
Her daughter was not in her arms, but in his…the one she was walking away from, when she wanted nothing more then to hold her daughter and be held by him.
But there were things that she had to do…things that she would not be able to do if she remained here.
Her people must be avenged, and by being the last survivor, she was bound to spend her life doing so. Until she ends this task, her life was not fully her’s. That was why she had to leave this dream.
Naraku was a dangerous foe, so it was not impossible that this might be the last time she sees any of them. She could only hope that her daughter would be able to understand her actions if she ended up unable to defend herself due to an early death.
It was unthinkable that a mother was able to leave their child behind, especially when the child was only a day old.
How could she do such a thing then?
Because Sesshomaru needed Namida more then her- to remind him about how he had once saved a human woman and ended up in love with her. He also required their child in order for him to understand that however brief a time they had, it would not simply fade into nothingness with her death.
That was why she did not take her daughter with her.

He had entertained the idea of travelling with her in order to continue being beside her, and he knew that she would not reject his protection completely, because he was the one who possessed her love. But this question was never asked as doing so would be begging, and he still had his pride.
Likewise, she might easily agree to stay with him and abandon every thing else if he should ask her, but she refused to plead with him because of the vow she had made in front of the grave of her people: that she would avenge them by her own hands.
His pride refused to let him ask her to not leave him, while her pride forbids her to turn away from her chosen path. It was this same pride that did not let them reach a compromise by travelling together as neither of them were willing to beg or plead.
But didn’t they love each other for that too?
Rin, to be expected, was still crying even though she realized that her tears would not help her to alter Sango’s decision.
“But why? Why do you have to go away?” she repeated over and over again between her sobs. “You and Sesshomaru-sama were both so happy! I love both of you! And Namida, what about her?”
“Rin, stop this.” Her guardian commanded, forcing all emotion to be gone from his voice, causing him to end up sounding too harsh, as the little girl’s crying worsened.
“It is not possible to always do what we most want to do.” Sango said softly as she placed her hand on Kirara- having reached her faithful companion at last.
The one who would take her away.
“Sango,” he finally spoke again, his voice now very soft and even slightly shaky. “Sango, will you come back?”
“Of course.” She whispered, her words muffled.
“Then when you return…I will mark you as my mate when you come back.” He stated without any hesitation. “I love you, and unlike Inuyasha or that monk, I will always love you.”
“I won’t leave again when I come back.” She promised.
Their promises were the only things that their pride allowed them to speak, even though there were so much more words that they wanted to say.
“Sesshomaru, I will return.”
“And I will be waiting for you, Sango.”

Author’s Note: as I said in the beginning, this story is not going to be happy story, and I guess it really shows in this chapter. Basically Sango leaves him because she feels bound by her duty, and Sesshomaru does not ask her to stay with him because he sees that as begging, as he would not beg. What he said to Sango about choosing to leave the next day is very symbolic because it shows that he knows she would leave all along. As for why they refused to ask the other to travel with them, it relates to pride again- asking him to help in her quest, asking her to let him travel with her. So their pride really plays a large part in this bit. Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku and probably Shippo would be coming out in the next chapter!!!

As I said in my previous entry, this is the result of reading too much fan fiction and just general forum discussions. Well, ended up doing this on the same day, but I guess I can see it as a celebration at having handed an essay in- which I will try to not think about until I get it back. (shudder) I don’t want to think about it.

Ok…I have been reading some forum and blogs and I think the interesting thing is that Shiraishi is often regards as the one person from prince of tennis who we might actually see in normal life. This is because of his playing style, people often describes him as normal because he doesn’t have any really elaborate playing style, the way he play tennis just mastering all the basic, which is what can be done in real life. I really like this opinion that I saw on someone’s blog. “My view on Shiraishi is this: someone normal at last, granted that he doesn’t look like a junior high school kid, and is skilled at a level beyond junior high, but he is the first person who actually plays tennis in a normal way.”

I think this is quite accurate and it also makes sense when you consider his sacrifice. Shiraishi is not Tezuka, he is not doing something drastic, like sacrificing his arm. His sacrifice is to do something in a way that he doesn’t like, and I guess you can say it is ordinary, but because it is ordinary, it is something he have to do every single time he play tennis. If it is drastic, then he would only do it once in a while (forgive me, but eg.Tezuka’s arm. I mean, he doesn’t do that every single time because if he does then he probably would have to end up in hospitals for a long time). But because of this, we can not dismiss his sacrifice as something trivial. It isn’t, because Shiraishi must perform this sacrifice all the time. And when you think about it, these sacrifices are often very great because as I said, it is not one off.

Once more I must point this out to those who does not think that what Shiraishi does is noble: he is a boy who loves tennis, and yet for his team he chooses to play tennis in a way that he does not enjoy, even worse he knows that he can do it in a way that he enjoy. Even worse, he knows that he can be very good without it. I think most people agree that he only start to play perfect tennis when he become the buchou, so his old way let him be the buchou and singles 1, so he was really good too. Yes, I admit, I have no proof but from the way he say a buchou’s duty is to score a win for his team no matter what, I strongly believe that he didn’t use to play perfect tennis, but the way that he like. And remember, he was made into a buchou ever since his second year, so his old way must be really good. So the worse thing is that he knows he can be quite good without perfect tennis, but for the sake of his team he chooses to do something he does not like just because it is more likely to let him win. Even if it is a small increase of his skills, he have to do this because he sees himself as obliged to do everything in order to score a win for his team.

Alright, I rest my case. So anyway…I think for most Shiraishi fans, and many non-Shiraishi fans, we wonder why his left arm is bandaged. I really think that it is more then just controlling Kin-chan because he does not seem like someone who like to waste time so I think there was something that requires him to wrap his hand up. And he actually never tell Kintarou that his hand is poisoned, he just doesn’t say it is not. In Volume 35 it is Kintarou who is the one that keeps on saying Shiraishi’s arm is poisoned.

So anyway, I have read a lot of argument and debate about why his hand is bandaged so I will just put them all up. It’s from a lot of fan fictions and forums. That is one reason I really want to see him when he was little (another reason is because he’ll look really cute as a little kid *side tracked slightly* but if he have his hand bandaged even when he was little, then we will at least know it is not just due to Kintarou. Personally I am really sure him bandaging his hand is not just due to Kintarou

1= to control Kintaoru
I really hope that this is not the case, because if you think about it, it is really sad, it really make you feel upset, and what made it more sad is that it is so obvious, but I’ve never considered this fact. Basically, on a form this person was talking to her friend about Prince of tennis, which led them to talk about Shiraishi. And her friend said this: “But why does that guy bandages his left arm up? Wouldn’t that be really hot?” Like most of us she just said: “Oh, it’s to manage Kintarou.” And had a laugh about it, because how many of us haven’t actually laugh when we first saw the poisoned hand thing? I am sure most of us have. But then, she said, when she got home she had a good think and she realise that it would actually be very uncomfortable for a person to wrap almost the lower half of his arm in bandages. As I read that I was just stunned, this is so obvious but I never thought about that. Any normal person doing that will get pretty uncomfortable, wrapping almost your entire left forearm up if you don’t need to. Even worse, Shiraishi plays tennis underneath the sun. That would be really uncomfortable. So if he does this just to control Kin-chan it is another sacrifice he does as the buchou, because he needs to control/manage all his team members he must do this sacrifice, which is really uncomfortable. That is why, I really hope this is not the real reason, because it really makes you weep-all that he does for his team. Yes, wrapping your arm in bandages is nothing out of the ordinary but it will be really uncomfortable, and once again, it is something that you do every single time.

2= when he takes if off it will be the time for him to use his ultimate weapon in tennis.
I don’t think this is the case because it is not as if he took his bandages off at all, and it is clear that Shiraishi is someone who plays his best since the very first ball.

3= he just does it to look cool.
I don’t think Shiraishi is the kind of guy who does this, considering that this is time consuming and very uncomfortable, as previously discussed.

4= he had some type of tattoo that needs to be covered.
I actually quite like this idea, although once again, he does not seem the type of character who will do this, especially as he is only in junior high school. If the story is about senior high school or university students then I think this can be pretty likely. But I mean, most kids would not usually do that kind of stuff in primary. A bit early, and he does not seem to be like a bad kid so…I have seen some interesting fan art of this theory.

5= he have to bandage his hand due to fighting.
Well, I get the impression that their tennis club is pretty amiable, somehow I can see Watanabe making sure of that. So I really don’t think a Tezuka thing happened to him, although it is technically quite possible since there could be people who resent him being buchou, but I don’t believe this. Somehow I really believe that his senior team mates accepted him being the buchou even though he was only a second year because he managed to prove his skills. And Shiraishi doesn’t trash talk so he would be very polite with his seniors so that would not give them any reason to be resentful at him. I think he would have beaten some seniors but is polite about it, so they wouldn’t be mad. So I don’t think it is because of fighting.
As for the fight being recently, I really like what a person on the forum said about this: “If there is fighting, then I don’t see how it would reach him when Kintarou is there.” That’s true…

6= It was due to some accident like falling.
Well, most people disregarded this theory by saying he can’t be falling all the time.

7= suffered some sort of incident that required him to bandage his arm up. He got scratched by a cat, or got burnt.
This is probably the most likely case, although I do wonder, would he prefer to let other people see that instead of being more uncomfortable by hiding it behind bandages.

My own intepretations
8= my initial view is that he have some sort of skin diseases on that part of his body so he have to wrap that bit of his skin up as it can’t be exposed to the sun, or is sensitive to the sun.
Personally, this is the view I think is most likely although the main problem is this: is there such a diseases in the first play? And it also only affects his left arm. This is the one that I use in my fan fiction though.

9= he had some sort of depression which caused him to injure himself, so he have to cover his scars up.
While I do think that he tend to bottle things up, he never let his team members know that he doesn’t like perfect tennis is an example. He doesn’t even let them suspect that he doesn’t like it, as he allows them to praise him for having perfect tennis. So I think this is an example that he tends to bottle things up. However, I don’t think he was ever at that stage, at such a depression that would cause him to attempt suicide or just try to cut himself.

Finally…
And this interpretation I read from a person’s story which is really interesting because it is a combination. In that person’s fan fiction, Chitose and Shiraishi meet for the first time and Chitose asked Shiraishi (a bit bluntly and rudely- I am not insulting the author because they are the one who used that word) whether his hand is bandaged because he is one of the depressing people. Upon this Shiraishi actually laughed and told him that it was due to being scratched by a cat. So in regard to theory number 7, I think this kind of make it more likely. Maybe his scars is really bad so he had to bandage his arms up because if he doesn’t, then people will think that he is suicidal, which gives a really bad impression.

I’ve been reading some fan fictions lately and as usually, whenever I start to read fan fiction I actually start to think about the characters. It’s actually quite good, I didn’t use to like the Rikkai people but after reading some really good fan fictions I was actually starting to think that they are actually pretty interesting. I was even start to think that Kirihara is not so bad until he hit Inui in the latest chapter…

The more I think about it, the more you kind of feel sorry for Kirihara because I think he is used by the author the most…what I mean by use…manipulated by the author? Personally I think he’s Konomi-sensei’s number one victim, he is a victim as the author uses him to change our perspective towards Rikkai- unless you are a Rikkai fan. I’m not, so once more, after what Kirihara just did in Genius 358, I have decided to root for Seigaku. I was actually sort of neutral before. Although there is still one possibility where I will want Rikkai to win, if they will win by beating Echizen. And it’ll be really weird if the hero school doesn’t win, admit it- everyone.

But anyway…why I think Kirihara is the victim of the author…in my case, whenever I start to think that he is not so bad he show me the opposite. When he first come out I actually thought that he’s quite a cute kid but then he hit Tachibana so that really got me pissed, (I admit, I am biased as I quite like Tachibana. Fudomine used to be my favourite school and I was actually torn between their match in the quarter final of the national. I mean, I know that Shitenhouji will win because I have seen Shitenhouji playing Seigaku but yet I kind of wish that they won’t get eliminated so soon because I really like them. I still like them, but I just like Shitenhouji much better now due to Shiraishi.) But then at the beginning of Kirihara’s singles 2 match I was quite touched by him blocking Sanada’s slap at Yanagi with his tennis racquet, I was just quite touched at that scene so I was kind of thinking maybe he isn’t so bad, and well…(the hospital scene didn’t happen in the manga.) But then…he hit Fuji’s eyes. To be honest, I think he did it on purpose. How can you say ‘I didn’t know I would hit his eyes’ when you deliberately hit his face, the chance of you hitting his eyes is pretty high. Even worse is his ‘hahaha, you can’t see’. That is just really off because that could have been so dangerous, for example, Chitose said that he still can’t see that well with his right eye (which accidentally got hit by Tachibana.) So Fuji might have got permanently injured. I mean, Rikkai is actually quite lucky that Fuji was only temporarily blinded, because if Seigaku planned to sue them, then they can probably succeed as some of the players from the other school can probably be witnesses, and say that Kirihara was deliberately hitting Fuji’s face, and once more, it’s pretty hard to say he didn’t intend to hit Fuji’s eyes because if you hit someone on the face, it is likely that you will hit his eyes. Not to mention money paid in compensation, the lightest is probably Kirihara being kicked out of the tennis club, although it is likely that Rikkai will be forbid to continue participating. But anyway…a bit off topic, so that really made me dislike Kirihara. Then due to reading fan fictions and dream novels I was starting to consider that maybe he does have a nice side, and my talk with Penguin-chan (an online friend of mine) really helped. She is a big Rikkai fan- as I am a strong Shitnehouji fans. And it is big fans like that who help you to see these characters more well. So I even didn’t mind him in the beginning of the Doubles 2 match in the national, when he was pretty psycho but it didn’t seem that vindictive. But then he went and purposely hit Inui, once again, that was deliberate. I think when it gets to hitting Inui deliberately to make Kaidou more upset is just going too far. I really like what Kaidou said: “If you want to hit someone then hit me, since I was the one taunting you.” To be honest, even if he hit Kaidou that would be wrong, cause Kaidou only returned his taunt, but at least it wouldn’t be that bad, whereas Inui didn’t do anything to him and he was just hitting Inui on purpose, in order to upset Kaidou. (But then Kaidou is one of the Seigaku regulars that I like, the other being Kawamura and Ooishi.)

So that is why I have decided: “Seigaku’s double two must win.” Or I can see this: Inui and Kaidou defaulting as Inui can’t play anymore (he actually collapsed on the ground in the last page), and Yanagi will actually say they default as well, as he think Kirihara did too far, or Yukimura would.

By the way, I am convinced that Watanabe told Gin that he can’t play anymore, that he is the one who defaulted the game for him, because I think Gin would have tried to see if he could still return some serve even though his arm is broken. I think this is what happened, Watanabe actually rushes up to stop Gin from continuing to play because he sees that he would probably want to try. I think Watanabe realises that he’s at a situation where to even try will do some damage, so he, as the coach, quickly steps in to stop him. That is why I really think Watanabe would drag Shiraishi off the court if Shiraishi is doing what Tezuka do- the whole sacrifice his arm thing. Actually I used this idea to write a fan fiction. “Conflicting Wishes”, which is on my blog. But writing that story made me realise a very important thing. Tezuka said this to the Higa captain: “Do you think your team members really want you to win this way?” now I just can’t help but to think, “Tezuka, that can apply to you as well.” I mean, him sacrificing his arm is going to traumatise his team members forever. Those who lose will honestly think: “Tezuka doing that is all my fault, because if I had win, then he wouldn’t need to have play and ended up sacrificing his arms.” I guess this is more related to the Hyotei match, not so much the Rikkai one because he was singles 3 in the Rikkai one. However, I guess we can’t really blame them as they are boys, but then I do blame their coach. The coaches should realise this might actually leave a permanent scars on the other boys, a permanent self-accusation.

Some self advertising, this is how I dealt with this issue in my fan fiction. Basically what happened is that Shiraishi was injured really badly and as a result Watanabe forfeit the game for him, even though he wanted to continue playing. This is what Shiraishi says later on: “I now see that I did the right thing for my self and my team. I will cause them to be guilty throughout the rest of their life if I destroyed myself for their sake.” He means him doing the right thing as in the fact that he accepted Watanabe’s decision although I don’t think his protests would have mattered because I am sure coaches’ word overrules.

Ok, this is longer then I thought, so I will type the next bit up another day, it’s about Shiraishi. Because I’ve been reading too much fan fiction so I just thought “I want to write something about him. (again).

Seems I am in another reflective mood today, this is another talk about daily life. I read ‘The pilot’s wife’ by Anita Shreve sometimes ago (by the way, it is a really good book, I highly recommend it.) and today, this realisation suddenly just hit me. Well, more of an understanding really. There was a scene where Kathryn (the protagonist) was thinking about her parent’s relationship, how it ended up quite bad. Her mum became really insecure and demands her father to constantly tell her that he loves her, and this really troubled their relationship as her father simply can’t stand her being like all the time. The sad thing is that he would have tell her that he loves her quite often it isn’t for the fact that she demands him to do it.

I think to an extent, a lot of us are like that as well. There are a lot of things that we would have done, but choose not to, because we feel as if we are ordered to do it.

I think the best example for me is my sister’s blog, I would probably leave a lot of comments if it doesn’t seem like that she is forcing me to leave a comment all the time. Ultimately, no one likes being ordered and sometimes she asks me then ‘no problem,’ I will leave a comment on her blog. But when I feel that she is ordering me to do it, then I just refuse to leave any comment. Of course, this happens a lot in other aspect of my life too. For example, in regard to reading fan fictions. I can not stand authors that do a ‘leave me a review or I will not update’. I just can’t stand it as to me, that is translated to ‘do it or else’, and in such a situation I just think: ‘ok, or else, tough luck.’ I might have left a review if they didn’t have that, but because they are doing a give me a review or I wouldn’t update, then I feel that this is them threatening us and I guess it is a way of passively protest for me. I refuse to give in. Mind you, I don’t mind people who beg for review because they are not forcing you, they are asking you. I understand if they say this: ‘Please leave me a review as otherwise I don’t know if anyone is reading it, so I might stop writing.’ That is understanding, but not a ‘I wouldn’t update unless I get a certain amount of reivews’.

And making sure my blog pet get feed...article from wikipedia
和服從字面上講是日本的民族服裝，因為日本人是大和民族。這個詞的對義詞是洋服。


[編輯] 和服的歷史
今天日本傳統服裝主要分為現代服裝「洋服」，即從歐洲傳來的樣式，和傳統服裝。和服早期深受中國的漢服影響，尤其是日本歷史上的古墳時代(相當於中國漢朝、三國時期的東吳)。但到了平安時代(相當於唐末宋初)，由於中日因雙方內外條件變化而暫時中斷交流，日本文化進入了一個高度本土化發展的時期(也是一段自我孤立時期)，和服的構造也因而更具有其本地色彩。

日本平民和服受東吳傳來的編製縫紉風格影響較深，稱為「吳服」。而貴族的服裝則受之後的唐朝影響更深，稱為「唐服」。從鎌倉時代起貴族和武士逐漸開始在家裡穿著吳服，從室町時代開始上層貴族也開始穿著吳服。江戶時代起吳服的樣式和今天的和服已相差無幾。今天，平民在節日、慶典上多穿著吳服，即一般意義上的和服，而皇族禮服仍以唐服為主，偶爾穿著吳服，禮服中是華麗的是十二單衣。


[編輯] 和服和着物
在英語等歐洲語言中，和服稱為Kimono，即日文着物（きもの）。着物廣義上指所有的衣服。狹義的着物指和服，即東吳風格的日本傳統服裝。


[編輯] 和服和吳服
今天和服和吳服概念幾乎重疊。很多賣和服的商店，還是寫著「吳服屋」。精確地講，通常吳服專指以絲綢為面料的高級和服，而用棉布做的和服被稱為「太物」。

I had a semi argument with my sister due to an incident in the weekend, and the result of it is that it made me realise a really interesting in regard to favourite characters and finding information about them. An interesting metaphor that made me understand…

So Albatross-sis (this sister) was writing ‘what if scenes’ and to be honest, I think they are fan fiction but she goes ‘no no, it’s different’. I don’t see why Kuso is different from fan fiction. They are both things that are not happening, so it is fan fiction in my opinion! Fan fiction are basically us fan fiction writers re-structuring the story with what if stuff. But anyway, she was writing kuso (in Chinese that’s basically what if scenes, kind of.) and she got stuck on Shitenhouji which she says that (I am so sorry to repeat this, but this is the exact opposite of what I think) Shiraishi have no personality and is not really an authoritative buchou, which I disagree on both account. Granted that his team members are not addressing him as if he is some unapproachable figure, there is still a clear sense of him being the buchou, and that if he said something his team members will obey him. Ok, the yakiniku competition, she uses this as a way to say he’s not really authoritative, well my defence- this had nothing to do with tennis. Being buchou for him is not a role that he must play twenty-four-seven. The yakiniku competition is not something he needs to be authoritative for. It’s a bit hard to explain but I mean, I think he and his team separated this- their relationship at that moment is that of friendship, not as buchou and team mates, which I think is quite right. I also can’t help but to think of that scene as Shiraishi prepares to leave, followed by the rest of his team. He was at the very front, clearly the buchou and I think the fact that they all walked behind him showed this. He is leading them away.

But anyway, my realisation. I got a bit side tracked. Something that I realise, and I’ll use prince of tennis as an example as this is what caused this realisation. As I read the story, it is as if I have a basket of wool in front of me. As I read on, I am taking the wools out of the basket and look at them briefly. Eventually I will find one that I particularly like due to what ever reasons. Basically this is me having found a favourite character.

But the problem is that some of the wools are neatly rolled up, while others are tangled. Important characters like the Seigaku characters are the balls of wools, to discover stuff about them you just have to unroll the wool, which is pretty easy. But for characters like Shiraishi, his wool is pretty tangled so you have to carefully untangle it, while requires quite a lot of work. You can’t just find out information to what he is like very easily, you must put in some effort to discover his characteristics by carefully analyzing his speeches and actions, because some information are hidden quite well. This is the untangling of the wool, which would be time consuming. Sometimes you will get stuck on a particular knot and you probably wouldn’t figure out how to untangle until some time passes.

So when my sister told what she said to me, about his personality, I think it is because she wasn’t trying to untangle the wool, she was just tossing it about. And in his case, you really have to untangle the wool in order to know what he is like.

As for fan fictions, I think it is as if people untangled their wools and wove it. Since they wove it, they naturally used others wool and altered that wool. But the wools you see from the weaving should be enough to make you wonder.

So this is my interpretation of this process. Although I admit, I am very bad as I have only probably almost finished unwinding Shiraishi’s skein completely, while the rest of his team and his coach have their wools partially untangled. As for everyone else (nervous laughter) I think they are all still in the basket. I know that this is a pretty weird metaphor but this was what came to mind.

I think the problem with our argument is that I am incredible hard head in regard to the stuff I am convinced is that way. If I really made up my mind then I just can’t change it. But I am not that intolerant though, I mean this is just what I do: “Ok, that is your opinion and I don’t agree with it but that is ok, cause we all have different opinion. I don’t mind if yours is different.” I spouse it can be annoying if you really think that I am wrong but…it isn’t stuff that are black and white. It’s not as if I am saying, ‘oranges are pink and whatever you can come up with as a proof is still not going to convince me’. No, I just do stuff like…using prince of tennis example: ‘I think Shitenhouji is a very strong team, stronger then this certain school, which I will not reveal.’ But this actually caused an argument that ended up quite bad. But there is no proof that I am wrong or she is right. But I mean, I do this with Satsuki-sis the whole time, and I mean, we sometimes get so childish, ending up doing a ‘Is so’. ‘Is not’ but she’s not pissed with me about that, and I don’t think she had been seriously mad at me because of that. The only time I can recall when she was seriously pissed was when we were both going through a rough period due to family and school and blamed the other for not understanding us, which has nothing to do with how we interpret a certain story.

Well…I guess this is a rant…

Author’s Note: as I said before, this is the chapter when the two of them finally gets together. This is the hardest chapter that I have ever wrote and I noticed that even though I am obsessed by romance stories (all my fan fiction are dealing with romance, the category is always romance) I haven’t actually focus on people falling in love that much, but rather, on people who are in love. In my fushigi yugi fan fiction, it was love at first sight, so the story deals with them when they both realize their love for each other, while in my genbu kaiden one it has the guy realizing he love her as he doesn’t want her to leave, and in Lost I start the story with a couple that were already in love. So what I am trying to say is…forgive me if it is not done that good.

Towa means forever as well as eternal, eien kind of means the same thing but I like the word towa better ever since I heard the song “Towa no hana”

She was sitting with a bunch of lilies in front of her- Rin’s latest gift. For the sake of the little girl, she had accepted it with a rather forced smile , as lilies brought her too many memories.
Her trainings had dominated her whole childhood, but there were times when she was able to pick flowers with other children. The flowers that she picked in these rare moments were always lilies, they had been her favourite flowers due to her mother.
She would be rewarded with a loving hug regardless of the type of flowers she had picked, but lilies always made her mother happier. That was why she ended up loving lilies- that smiling face with the garland of lilies was the few images she had of her mother.
Picking up one of the lilies in front of her, she managed to smile slightly as she thought of the bouquet her brother once picked for her. This must be another indication that her wounds were healing- she could think about him without crying every single time.
Was this an indication that she should start focusing on her own life?
But things had changed, she no longer wanted to marry Miroku. Instead, she was thinking about a yokai, trying to work out what she really felt towards him.
Her father once told her that the most dangerous type of yokai were those who could appear as humans…like him. But it was he that saved her when no one else could, and it was also he who made sure that she was healing.
Now they were sharing their pasts…neither of them condemning, or even judging.
What exactly were they doing?
More importantly, why?
As she told him, she was unwilling to leave him right now. In a way it was similar to how she had been with Miroku.
But there was a slight difference with her emotions, what she felt for Miroku was a love that was sweet and gentle, as he held her she would imagine the two of them living in a peaceful village with children. When she gazed at Sesshomaru, she only sees the two of them together in this cave.
She could only see him as who he was right now.
Perhaps she had fallen in love with Miroku because it had been ideal to do so. He was the first man to comfort her after her people were all gone, and since they were usually thrown together, it really shouldn’t be that surprising for them to grow so close, and eventually fall in love.
With Sesshomaru…she was in love even though it seemed an impossible situation, at the very least it was highly unusual. She didn’t even know how it had happened, nor could she work out the exact moment- although she had been afraid that something like this might occur.
Love was not as perfect as she had once thought, because it was not the path to eternal happiness. No matter what he might feel, this story would only end in tragedy. To love him would only cause her pain as they could never be together for a long time, and if she was somehow loved back- she would be burdened with guilt for being responsible for his pains.
“But I still want to be here,” she realized, “no matter what, I want to be beside him.
“I am in love with him.” She admitted, letting the flower in her hand fall to the ground.

If he had not been so occupied by his thoughts, then he would have heard her words and saved himself from agitation. But he was so eager to find out the answer that he didn’t even wait for the arrival of the night.
He would only admit that he was in love if she could care for him…if being in love meant desiring her so much that he was willing to be weaker. As she smiled at him, he realized that he would actually give up some of his own strength if it would help her.
Strange as it was, he no longer considered his actions as degrading.
“Sango, what am I to you?”
Without hesitation, she told him the truth. She decided to be blunt, as she was getting tired of wandering about everything, eve if it meant that she might have to leave him.
Maybe she was brave because she believes that she had some sort of chance, as he was becoming very different from the yokai who saved her due to some strange reason.
“You are special to me because I think I love you”
She thought of many reactions, but having him place his arm around her shoulders to draw her close to him was certainly not one.
“I do not know what love is.” He whispered, his voice finally gentle, and even though it sounded rather alien, she liked it. “But I do know that I want you to be by my side, and I wish to be the one you care for the most, because you have become the most special person to me.”
“But you must know,” she whispered gently as she tilted her head to look straight into his now warm eyes. “We will still have to say good bye.”
He nodded, but he did not release her.
They would not have a long time together, but to any pair of lovers –even ones as strange as them- each single night could be like an eternity.

Kirara was to finally find her mistress a day after their declaration. Although he was glad at how happy she was, the other yokai’s arrival reminded him that all this was only temporary. That was what made him to finally tell her of his other wish.
“I wish to have a child with you.” He said softly to the woman who now spends each night intertwined in his arms.
At first she was puzzled, but then her eyes lit with understanding, as he had expected it would. “As a reminder that all this happened?”
“No matter what you will leave me first. That is unchangeable.” He whispered. “But if we have a child then I can have part of you beside me.”
“But the child will be a hanyou.”
“I can give them a life different from Inuyasha’s.”
She shook her head and sat up, wrapping her arms around her legs as her eyes darkened.
“The child will be a hanyou.” She repeated.
“But you will be the mother, so I will love them.” He promised when he finally understood the implications of her words correctly. “I…I would still hate Inuyasha if he was a yokai.”
Assured by his words, she allowed herself to be pulled into his embrace once again. Soon they would resume their love making. With Miroku, she had never been able to forget the importance of marriage, thus she had refused to make love to him when he suggested it after his proposal.
Such conventions were thrown away in regard to Sesshomaru.
Perhaps it was because every part of their relationship was the opposite of conventionality. Though they loved each other, they could never wed or remain together for a long time.
It was the complete opposite from her childhood dreams, what she could have if she returned to Miroku. He would probably still wish to marry her, and be faithful for periods of time. With him, she could be married with children who would have both parents.
She scattered these dreams because she loved Sesshomaru that much. The memories of being with him would be enough to comfort her when she was no longer with him.
It was almost cruel to let her love the man she would never marry so much more then the one she once agreed to marry.

Author’s Note: first of all I did try to make this chapter good and by good I mean good, as well as not being out of character. But if you don’t like, I wouldn’t be angry. But anyway, I hope that what Sesshomaru ask of Sango is not really out of character, because as he would outlive for her for such a long time, I think he would want to have a child in order to remember what had happened with her, and prevent himself from forgetting. Maybe I will be able to expand this idea in the next chapter. But anyway, in regard to Inuyasha- as stated in the last chapter, his hatred for Inuyasha is mainly due to jealousy and how Inuyasha caused his father’ death. Also, Miroku is not going to be a bastard in this story, Sango’s refusal had nothing to do with his actions. I know that the eternity idea is cliché but I really want to use it so… Lastly, names are used a lot due the fact that Sango was thinking about both him and Miroku.

Author’s Note: Netami means jealousy (or so says the English-Japanese dictionary that I used.) by the way, for some reason this chapter didn’t get put up when I thought I did…strange.

Things changed after that day, he would sit beside her when Rin finally grew tired enough to go to sleep. The two of them would sit in silence and stare hard at the other in an attempt of working out why they were both still here.
Strangely enough, it was not an uncomfortable silence.
Nonetheless she still decided to break it, and the task proved to be easier then her anticipations. She simply began to explain what happened to her family on a certain night- why she ended up travelling with his half brother.
He remained silent throughout her story, even when she began to tremble due to some of the memories, and if it wasn’t for the fact that his eyes never once left her face, she would have thought that he fell asleep during her narration.
“That is why,” She ended bitterly, “I want to kill Naraku.”
She expected no answer from him, as up till now, all the talking in their ‘conversations’ was done by her. She began to feel a bit nervous for having revealed her past, as she was afraid of his interpretation.
Unable to continue holding his gaze, she walked to the sleeping Rin, a way for her to turn away.
“A strange tale.” His voice almost made Sango jump up in alarm as it was completely unexpected.
“It is strange that you would do so much for a brother who is so…” the word he had in mind was useless, but something made him substitute it for less harsh adjectives. She deserved his respect for being able to tell him what had happened without crying at all. “A brother who is so troublesome and reliant.”
“It is normal that I want to look after my younger brother!” she said angrily, although she was controlling herself as well, her instinct had been to scream “Don’t you dare compare us with your dysfunctional family!” at him.
“I could never do something like that for Inuyasha.”
Once again, she did not miss the sneer in his voice whenever his half brother was involved. Even though it was foolish to interfere in a pair of siblings’ fight, her curiosity still won over her common sense.
“Why?”
“I hate him.”
“I do not mean that, I want to know why you hate Inuyasha so much.”
For the first time since she met him, she saw his face briefly attacked by emotions. Of course, she would not know that she was the first person to ask him that question.
It appeared as an easy enough question, he has hated his half-brother ever since he learnt of Inuyasha’s existence…his survival. But he has to ponder about the answer, because he never really explained his reasoning to himself.
“I hate him,” as if it wasn’t bad enough that he was justifying himself to a human, he was also concerned about her reaction. “I hate Inuyasha because he caused my father to die…I lost the chance of being close to my father when I finally had it.” Her dark eyes were so warm, almost bewitching, as he found himself unable to hide the truth. “But most of all, my hatred is caused by jealousy.”
He told her what he wasn’t even willing to admit to himself.
“Why would you be jealous of him when you are the one who had the chance of knowing your father as well as being the rightful heir?”
“I am his heir, but that is all I was to my father.” He interrupted her bitterly. “Perhaps I might have been a son to my father had he not died because of Inuyasha.”
As she worked out the truth, her dark eyes began to glow with a strange light. It was not pity, as that would only disgust him, it was a sympathy that was both genuine and sincere…something he could be grateful for.
“You were born for the sake of being born.” She realized, her hand automatically stretched out to comfort him.
He did not accept her hand by holding it, but nor did he shove it away. Instead, he simply let it rest over his hand. He even began to describe his childhood for her.
While his parents were never unkind, they could not be called loving either. Their marriage had been for the simple purpose of producing a strong heir, and that certainly affected in the way they taught their only child. Under their teaching he was denied of possessing their love, causing him to be almost obsessed by his own strength- that was the only thing he was certain of.
Luckily, his parents realized their mistakes before he decide to reject all forms of love, they tried to make amend, but his father’s death made it all too late. He chooses to deny love because he saw it as weakness.
Although his eyes ended up rather distant, he did not turn his gaze away from her at all- it almost seemed as if he was reminding her that he was still talking to her.

Rin went to sleep early that night, and the mischievous grin on her face went unnoticed by both adults, who were sitting outside the cave’s entrance. Sango was in the elaborate kimono again, while Sesshomaru had put his pelt on his lap, finding himself unable to resume wearing it just yet.
“You are strong,” he said, preventing her from speaking first. “Unusually strong for a human woman. What is it that causes you to kill your self when you already survived so much hardship?”
It was difficult for her to answer this question, although she had been preparing for it. She no longer loved Miroku, but it was still not easy to tell another about the dreams she once wove for her future.
Would he think of her as pathetic? Even if he might, she did not really care. She wanted him to know about her, because she would not have him accept her as something other then who she really was. Surely what happened to her was an indication that love related to weakness, but she was not afraid to tell him about Miroku’s betrayal, because she felt that he would not be harsh to her.
His eyes darkened, while his lips curled into a sneer when she reached the act of betrayal. As he spoke, his voice was accompanied by great anger.
But they were not directed to her.
“He is a fool.”
Perhaps he feared that he had revealed too much, as he left her without any further words. He would not be beside her any longer due to the strange effect she had on him.
She made him felt like a normal man, that was a sign of weakness, and he was also letting emotions taking control of his senses. When she told him about what the Monk did to her, he was angry that someone would dare to hurt her like that. He was also jealous that the monk had all her affections, she trusted him more then any others…
She loved him.
“I am jealous because of a human woman,” he admitted. “I have become foolish because she has become special.”
He didn’t want her to leave him although he knew that she would do so one day. Her presence made him strangely content for some reason, and he was beginning to look forward to the end of each day, because he would spend the nights with her.
No one has ever affected him in such an impossible fashion before, he could probably work out the answer, but he refused to.
Humans were still weak and pathetic, especially his half brother’s companions and the human woman who caused his father to die, because she was too useless to do anything herself.
Only Sango was different, because only she was special.
But what was he to her?

Author’s Note: this chapter have been rather difficult to write, and I am quite nervous about what everyone thinks. The story is developing really slow because I want to make sure that the two of them are still in character. I found it really hard to explain Sesshomaru’s actions and can only hope that what I did is alright. I always thought that his mother died and then his father took up with a human woman, so oldest case in the world: there’s jealousy. Or I thought that his mother really loved him and was very bitter at his father’ s betrayal. But then his mother actually come out, and she is really…amazing? As there is no hint of her being the cast off woman as well, so I think that his parents marriage/relationship was purely political, or it ended before his father met Inuyasha’s mother. So I had tried to explain why he would still hate Inuyasha given that his parent’s relationship was political, and his mother doesn’t actually really care. (he is such a hard character to write).

Author’s Note: Sayonara means good bye, a more formal and permanent way of farewell, as opposed to ja ne, which means see you.

Once that she realized what she must do, she began to pack and at the same time she wished that she had more belongings to sort out, as her task was completed too quickly.
The last item to go into her small bag of possession was the elaborate kimono, she simply couldn’t resist the temptation of holding it up to admire it a last time before she put it in her bag. Now that she was in her old and plain kimono again- which she managed to sew back, although the stitches were very obvious- the rich kimono was the only reminder of the many strange weeks she had spent here.
No matter what might happen, Sango knew that she would always treasure this piece of clothing due to the memory that it contains.
Strangely enough, Sesshomaru had been the one that made her recover from her mental wounds as well as the physical ones, as she now realize that she no longer love Miroku, and facing him would not be very difficult. The man she did not want to face had transformed into another.
If all her wounds were healed, then she has no excuse of staying here anymore. And the truth was that regardless of all that could happen, or what she might feel, she would eventually have to say good bye to Sesshomaru.
It was better to do it now, instead of delaying it and making the farewell more difficult by causing her already puzzled heart to be even more confused.
By leaving him now, she would be able to recall what had happened as a strange event, instead of being the beginning of another series of painful memories. It was impossible to forget, so she must do the next best thing by choosing how she would remember.
“I must leave now.” She finally whispered, as she carefully folded the fine kimono and tucked it into her bag, then reached for the furry pelt that she had continued to wear.

Outside the cave, a little girl was playing happily as she had reached the belief that her whole world had become perfect, and would not alter. Like most children, she was unaware that adults tend to choose the most complicated path.
Sesshomaru was naturally not far away from the girl that really ended up as his ward, although he would never admit that he was watching her due to concern. No, he was not sitting there because he was slightly worried about her safety, he just happened to choose that spot as a seat.
The fact that it was also near enough towards the cave to allow him to immediately discover any harm that might befall on the human woman has certainly not crossed his mind at all.
As she walked out from the cave, he quickly turned his gaze away from that direction, least he had to admit to himself that he was actually thinking about her in any way.
She was dressed in that crude kimono again, and it really was quite a pity…not that how she appeared matter to him at all.
Silently, without announcing her arrival to Rin, she walked to stand beside him, then stretched her hands out toward him.
She was holding his pelt, what he had given her when he ripped…when she caused him to rip her kimono. He had allowed her to continue wearing it due to a strange whim that he was still unable to explain.
The pelt was actually a piece of clothing that served as a symbol of both status and identity, and the bearer of such a thing rarely allowed anyone else to touch it, let along wear it.
But in a moment of madness he had not only given it to someone else, he had let her, a human woman, to continue wearing it.
The even strange thing was that instead of snatching the pelt back to pretend that it never happened, he was almost…reluctant.
“I thought that I should return this to you as I am…” here Sango paused slightly, a bit disappointed to confirm that she had been right all along. Sesshomaru’s amber eyes were still showing no emotions- there was not even a brief hint of warmness.
“I am leaving.” She finished, releasing her hold on the pelt to let it drop onto Sesshomaru’s hand since it remained by his side.
“Now?” he finally spoke after a long silence.
“Now.” She repeated softly. “All my wounds are healed.”
A silence surfaced again as he turned away from her to look at the playing Rin once more.
“She will not like it. She is attached to you.”
“Then it is better for me to leave now to prevent her from being too attached to me. As I can not stay here forever, it will be best for me to go now.”
He didn’t say anything, and at this she sighed again before she turned away from him to retreat into the cave for the last time, to grab her belongings and leave.
After all, he made it clear that he did not really care personally whether she was here or not. If that was the case, then what was the point of remaining here?

From the shadows, he watched her picking up her bag and slipped it over her head, before she slung her boomerang over her shoulder. That was really all the possessions that she owned.
Taking a deep breath, she took a step toward the entrance of the cave, something that she had done numerous of time before. But the difference was that by taking her belongings with her, she was preparing to make this the last time.
He thought about letting her go, and make this episode as nothing but a queer incident. But he would always remember her…this human woman who was not only so different from all others that he had met, she was also the only one who made him act in ways that he never expected himself to behave in.
Since the very first day when he used Tenseiga to save her, he had begun to act uncharacteristically.
Sango was halfway out when he suddenly appeared in front of her. As always, he reminded her of a statue. Beautifully carved with only one flow: there was not the lightest hint of a smile.
Yes, she was willing to admit to herself, Sesshomaru was beautiful in a very strange way. But it was not this that affected her so much, in truth, she still did not understand the cause of her feelings.
“Sango…”
As he said her name for the very first time, she gasped slightly. She was well aware of the symbolism in his action, he now considered her to be a person, instead of just being a thing that he happened to come across.
“Sango,” he repeated again. “Do not leave yet.”
“But I will have to leave.” She replied calmly, although she was actually very nervous and shocked at this turn of event. She hasn’t even been this nervous when she faced Naraku!
“I know.” He agreed, his voice was still rather flat, but it was softer then usual. “I know this. But now is not the time.”
“Why not?”
“Because I do not wish to say goodbye yet.”
“Why?”
At the repetition he could only shake his head, admitting to another that he did not always have an explanation.
“I do not know.”
Even though he usually gained what he wanted, he was uncertain whether she would actually stay as he was not aware of any reasons that might cause her to. However, she actually smiled as she placed her belongings on the ground once more.
Her expression was very strange too, it almost seemed as if she was…relieved.
“I did not want to leave either.” She said simply.
“Why?”
Like him, she did not really know how to answer the question. Like him, she could only repeat the following words.
“I do not know.”

Author’s Note: I quite like this chapter as they almost got together. Sango is admitting that she have strange feelings for him, while in his denial, Sesshomaru is showing his feelings for her as well. I like the ending- when he realized that he doesn’t want her to leave. So basically I quite like this chapter.

Today must be international coughing day…this is what happened to me in my Irish history lecture today. (I was sitting in the centre of the room) The lady sitting a few seats to my left begun to cough really loud, a few minutes later the guy sitting directly behind me began to cough… So that was hard enough, having to concentrate when two people were couching really loud right new to you. And then…this guy at the right side of the room began to cough. Considering that I could hear his cough pretty clearly when he was sitting some distance away from me indicates that he was coughing pretty loudly…

And then unbelievable as it was…my history lecturer start to cough, so one way to summarise today’s lecture: coughing at the left and right, coughing at both front and back.

But history lecture was very interesting today. First of all, I finally found out something that I have always been really curious about. Why Northern Ireland is not part of Ireland, but Britain. Well now I sort of know why. Many people in modern Northern Ireland were unionists, who actually didn’t want to be separated from Britain. They want to be part of Britain, or at least they did.

What else…we learnt about the Easter uprising today and it is very interesting. Initially the Irish people actually disapproved of those who participated as they believed that they were foolish and misguided for what they were doing (seizing local buildings and reading out a declaration of independence…well, sort of.) But because the British government executed them in a rather nasty way (some of the leaders were denied of their last right of seeing a priest) the people who initially disapproved ended up seeing these people as martyrs and become quite anti-British.

So, that’s my five minutes brief history lesson, although it is a very general view.

And making sure my blog pet get feed...article from wikipedia
和服從字面上講是日本的民族服裝，因為日本人是大和民族。這個詞的對義詞是洋服。


[編輯] 和服的歷史
今天日本傳統服裝主要分為現代服裝「洋服」，即從歐洲傳來的樣式，和傳統服裝。和服早期深受中國的漢服影響，尤其是日本歷史上的古墳時代(相當於中國漢朝、三國時期的東吳)。但到了平安時代(相當於唐末宋初)，由於中日因雙方內外條件變化而暫時中斷交流，日本文化進入了一個高度本土化發展的時期(也是一段自我孤立時期)，和服的構造也因而更具有其本地色彩。

日本平民和服受東吳傳來的編製縫紉風格影響較深，稱為「吳服」。而貴族的服裝則受之後的唐朝影響更深，稱為「唐服」。從鎌倉時代起貴族和武士逐漸開始在家裡穿著吳服，從室町時代開始上層貴族也開始穿著吳服。江戶時代起吳服的樣式和今天的和服已相差無幾。今天，平民在節日、慶典上多穿著吳服，即一般意義上的和服，而皇族禮服仍以唐服為主，偶爾穿著吳服，禮服中是華麗的是十二單衣。


[編輯] 和服和着物
在英語等歐洲語言中，和服稱為Kimono，即日文着物（きもの）。着物廣義上指所有的衣服。狹義的着物指和服，即東吳風格的日本傳統服裝。


[編輯] 和服和吳服
今天和服和吳服概念幾乎重疊。很多賣和服的商店，還是寫著「吳服屋」。精確地講，通常吳服專指以絲綢為面料的高級和服，而用棉布做的和服被稱為「太物」。

Author’s Note: I suddenly had the idea of putting up chapter titles by using a random Japanese word (although my knowledge of Japanese is pretty bad as I only know some random words). But anyway, that actually help me to get some inspiration.
So this chapter title is Kaze, which means wind.

Even though the new kimono fitted her perfectly, Sango found herself unable to throw her tattered clothing away, because they were a reminder of what was real.
Whenever she walked under the night sky and its watcher the moon, with her hair decorated by Rin’s flowers, she felt as if she had slipped into a fantastical life by having transformed into a princess.
These princesses whom Miroku found so beautiful…she couldn’t help but to wonder at what Miroku would say if he saw her attired like this. In fact, she almost wanted to find him just to parade in front of him in this elaborate kimono. Would he then lavishly devote his attention to her as he always would to these princesses?
She felt beautiful due to this kimono- something she was never certain of before. Like many girls, she would stare hard at her reflection when she bathed, and tried to work out whether it was pleasing or not.
She never reached a conclusion by herself, or from other’s compliments, because it was usually her skills that were praised, as everyone knew that she regarded her skills as the more important thing.
Thoughts of Miroku no longer hurt so much, he seemed too distant from her. Strange as it was, she felt safe here, nothing seemed to be able to invade this place. Rationally she should be sacred or at least be weary of Sesshomaru, but she was certain that he would not harm her in anyway.
It almost seemed that she was living in a fairy world, isolated from the harshness and cruelty of reality.
But the truth was that there was no such a place.

Rin was fond of walking with her, but Sango seemed to be by herself on this night, as the young girl had decided to sleep. She did not mind, as she welcomed a time of being alone with her thoughts.
As she was only a human, despite her great skills as a yokai exterminator, the hidden person was certain that she would not suffer any disillusionment about the true state of her privacy.
Sesshomaru had watched over her ever since she first began these midnight walks. He was reluctant to change the prejudices he had lived with for centuries, but he couldn’t help but to feel admiration whenever he looked at her.
Dressed in a kimono worthy of a princess, she now looked so gentle and soft, but he only needed to shift his gaze to her dark eyes to see the determination and strength that could not be concealed just by being wrapped in the fineries usually used to restrain females.
That was what made her beautiful in his eyes.
It was the gentleness that existed with her strength- two characteristics that were usually separate, instead of being side by side.
Unlike the fragile princess his father ended up loving, or the miko his half brother was involved with, this human woman would not normally need protectors. In fact, he felt that the man whom she would allow to protect her, must be the one she loved the most.
As she would love him enough to exist alongside him, instead of dominating over him completely.
He was so lost in his reveries that he did not notice the stench of Naraku until it was right in front of them.

The user of wind brought her memories of her dead brother, because there were times when Kohaku had been beside Kagura, while the creator of Kagura was also the one who caused so many pains.
She wanted to give up everything to go back to these simple days when she had a home to return too. As she stared into the blades formed from wind, she seemed to see many faces.
Her stern but loving father; the slightly distant image of her mother who died many years ago; her brother whispering his fear of not being able to please their father or be as strong as her; the kind aunt like women who had kept her company when her mother was gone; as well as many of her childhood friends whom she could barely recall.
Each one of these people was dead due to Naraku.
Were Kagura’s blades the path towards them?
If the wind user had intend to fight for the sake of killing, then she would have finally die, even though Sesshomaru was running to her- his hand stretched out to pull her away.
But the blades were slower then usual, allowing Sango to step away when she suddenly realized that she no longer wished to die.
A hand grasped her by the wrist and hurled her away, much to her immediate displeasure, as she had never been fully happy whenever someone fought for her, instead of fighting with her. But her expression quickly changed to one of shock when she saw the one who intended to protect her.
The attacks stopped, as Kagura was able to make her exist with the excuse of having to flee due to Tokijin’s aura. Throwing her feather down, she quickly left the strange couple, although she was rather tempted to find out why the yokai who loathed humans so much would want to protect a human who was also a yokai exterminator.

“You saved me.” Sango said softly, her hands slightly shaking under the kimono’s trailing sleeves due to her nervousness.
He nodded, and even spoke: “I told you I would make sure that you stay alive.” Fearing that this might be mistaken for compassion, he quickly added: “Although I do not see why, as you seem so eager to die.”
At his reference to how she had remained immobile until the last moment, she smiled rather sadly.
“You will call me pathetic if you know my story- what cause me to act the way I do.” She whispered. “Most people would probably call me weak as well. But these sufferings are deep for me for the simple reason that they are my pains.”
She expected no reply from her companion…if he could be called that, so she began to walk back to the cave. A light wind tossed her hair into the wind to reveal her lonely and bitter eyes, showing her sorrowful expression.
Upon arriving in what became her home since the last few days, she gently picked up the fallen blanket and replaced it over Rin’s sleeping form, as well as covering the little girl with her own blanket because this night was extremely cold. Then she sat down, wrapping Sesshomaru’s pelt around her. He never asked her about it, so she continued wearing it.
“Maybe you are weak.” He stated bluntly, standing at the entrance of the cave, but his voice was not harsh as it usually was, although it still lacked emotion. “But you are at least strong, as you understand what few could.”
Watching him leaving once again, she pulled the pelt around her tighter. What was happening to her? Why was it that his opinion suddenly seemed to matter so much? The last time she had been so moved by someone’s words was when Miroku proposed to her.
How could she even explain that it was the thought of him that allowed her to find the strength of stepping away from Kagura’s attack?
By thinking of him, she had wanted to continue living, although she could not understand why. His amber eyes were still hard and distant, but yet she had wanted to be in his company a bit longer.
At least she didn’t want to leave it yet by dying.

Author’s Note: Yeah, another chapter done, although I was expecting that this chapter would be the beginning of them being together, guess not yet. Maybe the next chapter? It’s just that it is quite hard to write this fan fiction as I want to make every one rather in character. So hope that this chapter is alright, and Sango is focused more in this chapter, which is really good, as that is what I intended, although some were shown by Sesshomaru. I hope I did not get out of character. As to what I said about Sango, what I mean is that because she is such a strong woman that she would probably dominate her husband without intending to as she would not need to rely on him, so if she let someone protect him it is a sign of love, as she probably wouldn’t need to. I hope that make sense…

Any sort of excuses were a sign of weakness, because it meant that you were engaging in some sort of activity that required an explanation. But it became worse when you could not even come up with a reason for the offending action.
That was what he had been doing ever since he saved that woman…he forced herself to call her ‘that woman’ because he simply refused to acknowledge her as someone different from the rest- who were all nothing but passing faces.
Sesshomaru scowled as he looked at the two kimonos that he held. One was ripped and stained due to dirt and even blood at some part, it was simply made with cotton in a very plain pattern- designed for a woman who would be travelling actively. The other kimono was a startling contrast. It was sewn from a very fine silk with rich embroidery over the whole thing. Ironically, it was also in the colour of coral. (I really don’t think that there isn’t anyone who doesn’t know this, but just making sure. Sango literally means coral in Japanese.)
He did not know why he felt the need of finding her a new kimono when it was her own fault that he had ripped her originally crude clothing.
The truth was that he was running out of excuses whenever she was involved.
Why did he even tolerate her folly? Claiming that her wound had healed, she had been prepared to leave, despite how upset Rin was. Rin barely softened his frown, as he could not forgive his own reaction due to what the child had said.
He was near enough to hear any words spoken between the two humans when Rin ran in the cave with the flowers she had picked especially for who she called ‘the pretty lady’, after a quick introduction, which led to him learning of the woman’s name, Rin quickly moved to her main concern.
“Are you going to stay with us? Rin will be very happy if you do!”
Much to his disgust, his instinct was hoping that she would not say no,
He did not know what her reply was, because he walked away, angry with himself.
He should have let her leave since it was what she wanted, but instead, he had refused- telling her that he would not let her leave because her mind was not healed yet.
“And what is that to you?”
All of a sudden he hated her boldness, what he had previously admired, it was the cause of her facing him without any hesitation, and therefore leaving him a question that he could not answer.
Sesshomaru did not want her to die…he did not even want her to be in a position where she suffered so much as to welcome death so passionately.
“Unlike you,” she was screaming, “There are those who would worry if I suddenly disappear! Especially my…”
At this point she halted and began to cry.
He didn’t know how he should react- he had never been in a position where he wanted someone to cease their weeping out of a sentimental reason. Before, it was always due to an annoyance, which he ended by delivering the killing blow.
Tears were a weakness mainly involved with sadness, so he never saw them on the face of his very capable and strong mother, while Rin seemed too happy in her naïve way as to have her defence breached.
But the strangest thing was that he did not regard her as weak in any way, these tears did not change his opinion of her.
He wanted to do something, anything that would cease her tears. Not knowing what to do, he stretched out his hand.
She turned away, running from him. At that time, he was only aware of one thing: she must not leave.
His hand caught the end of her kimono, causing the garment to severally rip. At that she had blushed and immediately tried to gather the tattered fabrics together. He was almost relieved at what happened, because it halted her tears.
“Sango, your kimono is rip!” Rin had suddenly appeared, and attached herself to Sango tightly, “At least stay with us until you get a new one!”
For some reason, she had consented to Rin with a single nod.
But why was he the one finding her a new kimono? He could have easily left the matter with Jaken. He knew that Rin had obtained her new kimono by persuading his servant to find her one somehow. Naturally, Sesshomaru did not really care about what Jaken did.
Knowing his servant, it was probably achieved by some ridiculously complicated plan, instead of the much simpler and faster way of demanding the tailor to find a kimono the same size as the broken one he had held.

Although she loathed agreeing with someone who always considered himself as right, Sango had to admit that Sesshomaru was not wrong in what he said. She may have completely recovered from the physical wound she had inflicted upon herself, but the wound in her heart had not even start to heal.
Miroku…it hurt her to even think of his name, let along his actions. Yet for a whole glorious day she had been so happy due to him.
His confession…her acceptance. She was overjoyed.
But she was to see him the very next morning in the company of a large group of girls, and even hugging and kissing some of them. That was the last attack required for her to break down completely, especially when she has already suffered so much: the slaughter of her whole village; the death of her father due to her own brother; the tortured soul of her dead brother caused by Naraku’s manipulation; and now there was the additional pain of the betrayal of a lover.
Sango forced herself to smile due to the cheerful young girl beside her, who was chatting merrily about something even as she fingered the fur pelt that Sango had somehow managed to wrap around her body. It was not in her power to make anyone happy, but she did not want to make someone unhappy if she could help it.
“What did you just say, Rin?” she asked gently when the child stopped talking and was looking at her in what might be described as a pleading fashion.
“Rin want to know if Sango will stay with us forever now that Sesshomaru-sama wants you to as well.”
“Sesshomaru? He…” Sango began, confused at why Rin would even think of this as until this morning, Sesshomaru had not see her ever since he rescued her. If she was to be truthful, then she would admit that she had been rather angry at being completely neglected, even though she knew that Sesshomaru rescuing her, and then taking her instead of simply leaving, was an act of miracle.
What Sango didn’t know was that he has not neglected her as she believed.
“Because Sesshomaru-sama gave his pelt for Sango to wear! Surely that means he like Sango!”
At this Sango forced down her urge of snorting and only shake her head gently at the naïve child. After she failed to put her torn kimono together, he had thrown the pelt to her without changing his expression at all. All he said was this: “Have the decency to cover your self.”
She could not understand why he would care as humans were so despicable to him, so surely her body was nothing that would interest him. She wonders whether it was because the sight of her body disgusted him, as he hated all aspect of humans so much.
Without any warning, the soft silk of the new kimono Sesshomaru found for her hit her in the face with the much more rough cotton of her familiar kimono that she had failed to find, and believed to have disappeared. Automatically, she fingered the fine silk with a slight wonder, being a yokai exterminator she was always used to wear clothing that were practical.
Sesshomaru forced his face to reveal nothing at all as he stated the explanation he had finally thought of.
“I only went to find you a kimono because the old one reeks of my idiotic half brother’s scent.”
“But nonetheless, I still thank you.” Sango whispered, a very slight smile forming on her lips as she clutched the two kimonos.
He only snorted at this: “I want no thanks.”
Because he did not want to regard what he did as right, nor did he desire to repeat his actions.

Author’s Note: once again, this idea suddenly came. Well, first of all, I’ll just explain what I know of my story. All that I know is the end- so the process is very confusing for me! I really like the new kimono incident and I hope that I didn’t get out of character but I really tried not to. I guess what happened with the kimonos can be seen as a development of their relationship. Another thing I realize is that I have been focusing on Sesshomaru a bit too much so I will try to talk about Sango more in the next chapter, as this is as hard to accept as it is for me. As for Miroku…I haven’t made him into a bastard or anything because I actually quite like Miroku (Although it is partly reflected glory as I really like Sango). When I finished my story I actually felt quite sorry for Miroku, at what will happen to him. (which does not involve in being sucked by his wind tunnel, I have seen too many author do this for my liking, although some of them I consider to be very good stories.) But the important thing is that he is not portrayed in the full wrong, or a completely negative fashion.

One more thing: Jaken is present, although I’m just not sure whether he would come out at this rate!

Why am I still awake at this hour of the night? Maybe it is because I am trying to enjoy my last Friday before I submit myself to going to university again. Just how did these days past so fast? But anyway…since my blog has been rather prince of tennis occupied lately I decided to put this up, the fan fiction that I wrote for Inuyasha sometime ago, well…at the start of this year.

Title: Tears
Written at: November 29 2006- February 26 2007
Category: romance/tragic
Summary: Sesshomaru rescues Sango after she kills herself, and in the process of making sure that she is recovering, they both slowly begin to care for each other.

Author’s Note: I was watching Inuyasha when I suddenly thought “Sango and Sesshomaru would be such a good couple”. This is really weird as even though Sango is my favourite character I didn’t even like Sesshomaru at that time. But I went to read fan fictions with these two in it and as a result I really think that they are a good couple and should be together. I actually really like Sango and Miroku being together…but I do think she kind of deserves better- someone completely completely faithful. So after reading so much fan fictions I decided to write my own.
Word of warning: not a happy happy story.

Darkness…
Replaced by light along with pain. Once more, Sango felt the pain that had disappeared with the light of her conscious, as well as that familiar face of the one she still loved despite everything.
She knew that her wound was fatal because she had been the one that caused it. After she finally killed her beloved brother by tearing off the shikon shard in his back, she had reversed her grip over her sword in order to stab it into her heart.
No more this, she had whispered as she embraced Kohaku for what she believed to be the last time in this life, I am so tired of all this, let it all end out death- as it should have happened that day when our father was killed.
But this was not so.
Sitting up, she found herself lying on some sort of makeshift blankets of fur and discovered that to an extend she was still in her armour as only the hard and un-private parts were removed. Looking around she saw that her weapons were all beside her with the remaining bit of her armour.
Sango was not sure of what was going on, but she was certain of one thing: she was not with her friends. Nonetheless, she was still completely shocked when the one who saved her made their entrance.
The long flowing unbound silver hair and the markings on his face revealed his identity easily.
Sesshomaru, the half-brother of Inuyasha. Sango would have started to laugh at the absurdity of the situation if it wasn’t due to the pain of her wounds. It was simply too ironic that he should be the one that somehow saved her, although she was not sure how a dead person could be saved.
Sesshomaru loathed the human race and he usually kill any humans for having the misfortune of merely being in his way and not parting for him to move due to simply ignorance.
“I see that you have recovered.” He interrupted her reveries by a voice that was indeed cold and dispassionate. No more or less then what she had expected. “Know that you are live instead of dead due to my actions.”
“You did save me then.” Sango stated softly.
His amber eyes narrowed and turned colder then she believed to be possible. She couldn’t help but to marvel at Inuyasha’s bravery for daring to even fight someone who would look like this.
Without any warning, he was right in front of her, his clawed hand around her throat. She would have trembled if it wasn’t for the fact that she already considered herself as a corpse.
“I did not ask to be saved.” She stated softly in a very flat voice. “I never asked you to interfere either.”
Her answer shocked Sesshomaru because up until now, every human and even yokai that he had killed had died trying to remain in this world for just a bit longer. Some had pleaded and begged, others wept while the last group would explain to themselves why they did not want to die.
But this woman…she was asking for death.
“Kill me.” Sango continued steadily. “After all, I am only a lowly human to you, and if you really are who you say you are then kill me. No doubt you have already killed many of those that you consider pathetic.”
Sango was the one surprised this time, as Sesshomaru actually stood up and left her despite the fat that she engaged in what could be consider as a taunt.
She quickly switched to cursing herself for even wondering about the yokai when she remembered what Inuyasha once said.
“Sesshomaru always think that he is right, so he feels no obligation in justifying himself at all.”
“I do not need to explain anything to you.” He announced to the yokai exterminator coldly. “As I said before, I saved you and so I will make sure that you stay alive.”
“Do not expect any gratitude from me!” she retorted back.
When Sango believed that she was finally alone, she allowed the first drop of tear to fall. Unable to stop the second tear, she yielded and let all the other tears streak across her face. The silent tears then changed to quiet sobbing, which eventually transformed to howling.
She screamed out the name of the one who killed all those dear to her, then the brother she lost due to him, and finally she spat out the name of the one who had betrayed her even as he was starting to make her happy once more.

Sesshomaru was gripping the katana which had had let that human woman to return to the life she had almost escape by killing herself. He had saved her, even though he was fully aware that she would not be grateful at all.
“It is not as if I sought gratitude.” He quickly reminded himself. “I merely saved her because…”
Here he halted. Because? Because? For the first time in his life he needed to justify his actions, but he found no answer that was not idiotic, let along acceptable.
Tenseiga did not persuade him either. He had done what he did out of his free will. The truth was that it he had only been a watcher instead of an actor in this play, he would have said that it was an act done due to an irrational emotion.
The very emotions he loathed as they were weak and weakened the ones who bore them. If he still had any senses left then he should turn back and kill that woman…
But he could not. The truth was that he wanted her to live.
She was a stranger, merely one of his idiotic half brother’s companions…
But he saved her.
She was a human, the same specie as the one who caused his father to die…
But he wanted her to live.
She was similar from all those that he had killed before in his long life…
But he already regarded her as different.
He pulled the katana along with its sheath, thinking about throwing it to release his anger and hopefully gain some sort of satisfaction in the action.
The katana would have been hurled away if he had not suddenly heard the sound of her weeping. For some reason it simply upset him and he wanted it to stop at all cost, even if it meant comforting her somehow.
“It hurts my ears.” He stated flatly to himself. “That is all.”
His walk stopped when the little human girl approached him with that innocent unchanging smile and a bouquet of flowers in her hands. He was able to shift his thoughts by marvelling how the little child could still retain any naivety when she was travelling with him.
“Sesshomaru-sama, Rin want to know if she can visit the pretty lady now!”
Pretty? Now that Rin reminded him, Sesshomaru had to admit that for a mere human, the woman was rather…pleasing to the eyes.
It must be because of the strength in her, even though she herself was oblivious to it. She had different from the two miko his brother fawned upon by being a grown woman who possessed an air of tragedy that was not flaunted.
Yet he felt that there was an open gentleness in her, unlike his own mother. It was a gentleness that existed alongside with both inner and outer strength- as opposed to Inuyasha’s mother.
“Sesshomaru-sama?” Rin repeated again as he tugged at the hem of the pelt that was always on him. “Can Rin go? Maybe Rin can make the pretty lady smile again?”
He nodded a bit too quickly.

(the purpose of the meeting somehow begins.)

Atobe: “Ore-same will naturally begin. Be prepared to be dazed by ore-sama’s voice!”


Atobe: “Shalala a lovely kiss
Shalala a kiss on my face
Shalala a lovely kiss
Shalala a kiss on my face”

Saeki: “Can he actually get any more into it?”

Mizuki: “Hyotei’s Atobe, likely the type who will hog the microphone when ever he goes Karaoke. In fact, he is all but hogging the microphone now.”

Ooishi: “Atobe is certainly trying very hard, but I wish that he wouldn’t look at us that way, it is a bit creepy.”

Atobe: “Now, Tezuka, try and see if you can even compare to Ore-sama!”


Tezuka: “Tomorrow is very special, special day
A chance which comes around once a year
Oh darling, Oh darling
I love you!”

Sanada: “Tezuka, you are being too slack.”

Aoi: “Even though Tezuka-san is such an impressive figure, I just somehow don’t think girls will be impressed if they heard his version. What to do then, I am not feeling any pressure.”

Tachibana: “Tezuka…you are not convincing us that tomorrow is a special day.”

Ooishi: “Alright, Shuuichirou, deep breath. You will be alright, it’s only a verse. You’ll be fine.”

Tezuka: “Ooishi, yudan sezu ni ikou.”


Ooishi: “Everyone is delighted on this carnival
Take the heart of your boyfriend
Oh baby, oh baby
Love me do!”

Saeki: “Why do I feel as if he’s trying to convince a little kid, not his girl friend?”

Atobe: “Ah, Seigaku is definitely not a threat to Ore-sama’s singing.”

Ooishi: “Tachibana-kun, here you go, and good luck with this.”


Tachibana: “A sweet sweet chocolate
Even if I try and give it to you
Because I just don't stand out
I might just have to use my special method to win your heart.”

Mizuki: “Interesting, Fudomine’s Tachibana- almost undergo a personality change when he begins to sing.”

Shiraishi: “So this is what Tachibana can be like, I was starting to wonder whether he really was capable of playing with the wild style Chitose told me about.”

Tachibana: “Alright, how was that?! Oh, I seem to have got a bit carried away. Sorry about that. Here you go, Minami-kun.”


Minami: “Valentine day kiss
Valentine day kiss
Valentine day kiss
With a ribbon ...”

Sengoku: “Minami, I told you that you should be more distinguished! But wait, since I am directly after him then that means that I might be noticed by girls more. Hmm…that is not a bad thing. Lucky!”

Minami: “Sengoku, stop grinning to yourself! It’s your turn.”


Sengoku: “Alright! This is for all the cute girls in Japan…no, this is for all the cute girls in the world!
The sunset park the colour of wine
I want to experience a lovely romance
Oh darling, oh darling
I love you!”

Aoi: “Yamabuki’s Sengoku-senpai…I want to be just like that!”

Yukimara: “Genichiro, we will show them that Rikkai excels in everything.”


Sanada: “Yes, Yukimura!
The telephone call which calls you out
I want you to know how I feel
Oh baby, oh baby
Love me do!”

Aoi: “This…this seems more scary then Tezuka-san’s version.”

Tachibana: “You can’t say that he is not trying but…”

Shiraishi: “Why do I feel as I am at the morning assembly in school, about to start singing the school song?”

Yukimura: “Sanada, good work.
The chocolate I save to this day
Is my very own lips
In your arms
I'll deliberately close my eyes for you.”

Tezuka: “Yukimura…”

Ooishi: “The song seems to suddenly become a bit slower…is Yukimura really alright? Am I thinking too much because no one else looks worried…”

Saeki: “Somehow the lyrics seems to be about the last meeting.”

Atobe: “Ah, Yukimura is definitely someone to be careful of, in all aspects.”

Yukimura: “Here you go, Mizuki-kun! Do a really good job for your captain!”


Mizuki: “Valentine day kiss
Valentine day kiss
Valentine day kiss
An adult taste ...” (being said, not sung)

Everyone: “…”

Sanada: “That is too slack a performance! Put this microphone down right now!”

Shiraishi: “I don’t think I want to sing anymore. Gosh, what is with that guy? Actually, what is wrong with Rikkai in general? Were they like that last year?”


Shiraishi: “It's been the chocolate of love ever since that day
Open up the silver wrapping
And double check my feelings
Anyone and everyone will experience romance”

Atobe: “Ah, his performance is not unusual at all, but yet it is still good, although it is certainly not a match to ore-sama.”

Tezuka: “Everything was done and done well…so this is Shitenhouji’s bible.”


Saeki: “Alright, my turn. Kentarou, think of it this way- if you do a much better job then me then you will be really popular with the girls! Although the opposite can happen too!
Valentine day kiss
Valentine day kiss
Valentine day kiss
An anniversary of our love ...”


Aoi: “I can feel the pressure now. Alright, if I don’t sing as good as Saeki-senpai then I wouldn’t go on a date for three years!
Shalala a lovely kiss
Shalala a kiss on my face
Shalala a lovely kiss
Shalala a kiss on my face”


(end of the meeting)

Shiraishi: “Kenya says that I can stay with his cousin so I better ask Atobe since Kenya’s cousin is in the tennis team.”

Shiraishi: “Atobe-kun, do you know where Oshitari Yuushi lives?”

Atobe: “Ah, Oshitari Yuushi, why do you want to know?”

Shiraishi: “Well, I’m going to spend the night in his house, since the next train to Osaka only come at next morning.”

Atobe: “Stay in Oshitari Yuushi’s house? Ore-sama does know where he lives but his house is so…”

Shiraishi: “It wouldn’t mater as I’m only staying there for the night, I am going back to Osaka the next morning.”

Atobe: “Ah, Shiraishi-kun, you are deserted in Tokyo with no one to turn to, ah?”

Shiraishi: “Eh…well, it is true that I don’t know anyone in Tokyo but…”

Atobe: “Then ore-sama will generously invite you to stay in his house, since Ore-sama has many guest rooms. Don’t worry, this will not trouble Ore-same at all. No, not at all.”

Shiraishi: “What, do I sound like a beggar begging?”

Atobe: “In fact, you are all invited to Ore-sama’s mansion.”

Ooishi: “Well, we don’t want to impose on you…”

Atobe: “No, this is not a problem! Ore-sama’s house is big enough for you all! Ah, Tezuka?”

Sengoku: “We can go to Atobe’s house? I heard that he is super rich! Lucky!”

Sengoku: “Us too!”

Minami: “Sengoku…I am the captain and I haven’t even said anything.”

Saeki: “Aoi, it probably is a good idea for us to stay there and catch the train next morning.”

Sanada: “Hmmph, Yukimura, we are leaving…”

Yukimura: “But it sounds fun! Don’t you think so, Genichiro?”

Sanada: “…Yukimura.”

Yukimura: “Atobe-kun, we are coming as well.”

Ooishi: “Well, Tezuka, I think we should go too.”

Tezuka: “Ah…” (nods)

Mizuki: “mm-hmm, this is too excellent a chance to miss. I will be able to collect some data, and maybe I will be able to have more data then Seigaku’s Inui.”

Atobe: “Ah, then follow Ore-sama!”


(Later on, in Osaka)

Watanabe: “So, Shiraishi, how was the meeting?”

Shiraishi: “It was interesting.”

Watanabe: “Interesting? In what way?”

Shiraishi: “I learnt a lot of stuff.”

Watanabe: “Oh, like what?”

Shiraishi: “Firstly, this is for you, sensei, it’s a souvenir from Tokyo.”

Watanabe: “Eh? This is pretty expensive, are you sure you want to give it to me?”

Shiraishi: “Yes, in return I am never going to attend another meeting that includes Rikkai’s captain and vice-captain.”


(A few days later, at a meeting for the captains of Kansai schools.)

Captain 1: “Do you know what I just heard? Apparently Shitehouji’s Shiraishi went to this meeting in Kantou and he returns saying that there is no one more scary then Rikkai’s Sanada.”

Captain 2: “but I thought he said that their captain Yukimura is much worse.”


(And so Sanada and Yukimura’s reputation extents to Kansai…)

Sanada: “Yukimura, I am sorry. Why aren’t the rest of you sitting down to prepare for the meeting?! That is too slack.”

Shiraishi: “I thought Atobe is the one who organized this. I wonder how people in Rikkai’s tennis club can stand him.”

Saeki: “Weren’t you the one standing outside?”

Sanada: “I was making sure that everyone is arriving! The meeting should have begun on time, but due to Shiraishi-kun arriving ten minutes late…”

Shiraishi: “For goodness sake, it was only ten minutes, and this is only the second time I’ve been to Tokyo…oh, forget it!”

Sanada: “And then, Aoi-kun only comes fifteen minutes late…”

Aoi: “I am so sorry, Sanada-san!”

Saeki: “It’s alright, Kentarou, don’t let that get you down.”

Sanada: “What do you mean ‘don’t let that get you down’? You should be ashamed of being late! Especially when you are the captain!”

Shiraishi: “Sanada-kun, we are not from Tokyo while I’m not even from Kantou. I don’t know what happened with Aoi-kun, but I was as good as shoved on the train.”

Sanada: “I am not from Tokyo either! But…”

Shiraishi: “Well, that is true, but the main point is that you are over reacting.”

Sanada: “Over reacting? You guys are being much too slack – ”

Yukimura: “Now, now, Genichiro, why don’t we just all sit back and let the meeting start?”

Sanada: “Of course, Yukimura, and I am sorry.”

Shiraishi: “That is a bit like how I manage Kin-chan, but there is quite a big difference between these two.”

Saeki: “don’t think I can ever see that happening in our school.”

Mizuki: “Mm-hmm, so that is Rikkai’s secret.”

Tezuka: “Ah, as to be expected of Yukimura.”

Sengoku: “wow, that is amazing!”


Tezuka: “So everyone is here?”

Sanada: “Apart from…”

Yukimura: “Now, now, Genichiro.”

Sanada: “Sorry.”

Everyone else: “So this is Yukimura’s true strength.”

Saeki: “Why don’t we introduce our self then? Since some of us might not know everyone. Well, I’ll start, I am Saeki Kojirou! The vice captain of Rokkaku!”

Aoi: (stand up and bow): “Hi everyone, I am Aoi Kentarou, captain of Rokkaku and I am really glad to meet all of you!”

Tachibana: “I am Tachibana Kippei, the captain of Fudomine.”

Tezuka: “Tezuka Kunimitsu. Seigaku’s captain. Third year in Seishun Gakuen.”

Ooishi: “I am Ooishi Shuichiro, the vice captain of Seigaku. I am really glad to see some familiar faces, as well as meeting new people.”

Sengoku: “I am Sengoku Kiyosumi! Lucky Sengoku! The vice-captain from Yamabuki.”

Minami: “I am Minami Kentaro, captain of Yamabuki.”

Shiraishi: “I really must have a talk with Kenya when I get back to Osaka, he told me that Sengoku is the captain. Didn’t Koharu say the same thing too?”

Shiraishi: “Shiraishi Kuranosuke, I am the captain of Osaka’s Shitenhouji.”

Mizuki: “I am Mizuki Hajime, I am here to represent St Rudolph.”

Everyone: “so he’s not even the vice captain, let along the captain. Why on earth is he here then?”

Sengoku: “Oh, that mm-hmm guy.”

Yukimura: “Yukimura Seiichi, the captain of Rikkai dai.” (smiles radiantly)

Sanada: “Sanada Genichirou. Vice-captain of Rikkai dai.”

Shiraishi, Saeki, Sengoku, Minami, Tachibana, Mizuki: “Come on, it’s not as if you haven’t made it clear about who you are within the first five minutes of our arrival.”

Aoi: “I think I am a bit scared…why do I have to do this again?”


(silence…silence…)

Tachibana: “Wait a minute, guys, I can hear this strange sound.”

Shiraishi: “It sounds like people shouting and yelling, is Tokyo usually this loud?”

Tezuka: “Atobe, you always have to do this.”

Hyotei’s tennis club: “Hyotei, Hyotei.”

Saeki: “Hey, Kentarou, take a look at Rikkai’s vice-captain.”

Aoi: “Oh my goodness, I don’t think I have seen anyone looking this mad before.”

Sanada: “HALF – AN – HOUR – LATE!”

Hyotei’s tennis club: “Atobe! Atobe!”

Shiraishi: “I can’t believe this, but this is actually all true. I wonder if the hair cutting story is true as well.”

Atobe (enters): “Ah, be awed by the sight of ore-sama’s dazzling prowess!”

Sanada: “ATOBE…YOU ARE HALF – AN – HOUR – LATE!”

Atobe: “But ore-same is the most important person in this meeting, so it is alright for Ore-sama to be a bit late.”

Aoi: “Forget what I just said, Sanada-san’s face now is truly scary.”

Yukimura: “Now, Sanada, the main thing is that Atobe is here now, right?”

(Sanada sits down without saying anything.)

Atobe: “Ah, Yukimura-kun, ore-sama is glad to hear that you have recovered, but you must know, under the guide of Ore-same Hyotei will be the ultimate winner this year, even if you are back.”

Yukimura: “Is that so, Atobe-kun? But it is such a pity that we didn’t get to see you at the finals of the Kantou regional this year. Actually, I think the last time I saw you was at the nationals last year. Shiraishi-kun, Tachibana-kun, was Hyotei the last school in the top four?”

Shiraishi: “Wasn’t it Majinofuji?”

Atobe: “Yukimura Seiichi, you are deliberately doing this as there is no way that you would actually forget the runner up.”

Tachibana: “I think Hyotei got eliminated at round two.”

Yukimura: “Really? I wasn’t sure! Hahaha! By the way, Tachibana-kun, I’ve heard that Fudomine is actually doing very well this year.”

Tachibana: “We are, we managed to take third place in the Kantou regional after we lost to Rikkai. Rikkai is truly a strong school, Yukimura-kun.”

Yukimura: “But Fudomine has become very strong too.”

Aoi: “Yeah, we played against Fudomine, and Saeki-senpai actually lost to Tachibana-san! Oh, I am so sorry Saeki-senpai.”

Saeiki: “That’s alright, Kentarou, I won’t deny that Tachibana-kun is a very strong player.”

Tachibana: “And Fudomine even played against Hyotei this year and…”

Tachibana: “Maybe I shouldn’t say that, as that might be seen as rubbing it in.”

Tezuka: “Why is everyone talking about the Kantou regional? Should I point out that Seigaku was the winner?”

Sanada: “Tezuka, even though you beat us at the regional this year, don’t think that we will just let you win the national!”

Shiraishi: “Is it me or is the room suddenly very cold? Oh well, this doesn’t concern me at all. Maybe I should buy some souvenirs from Tokyo before I leave. What is Tokyo actually famous for?”

Mizuki: “St Rudolph didn’t make it to the Kantou regional, so we can’t participate in the nationals. St Rudolph didn’t make it to the Kantou regional, so we can’t participate in the nationals.”

Sengoku: “Shiraishi-kun, you can speak Kansai-ben right?”

Shiraishi: “Of course, I’m from Osaka.”

Sengoku: “Can you teach me some phrases then?”

Shiraishi: “Sure, what do you want to learn? Stuff like ‘The weather is fine’, ‘where is the train station?’”

Sengoku: “I was thinking more along the line of ‘You are very pretty’, ‘why don’t we spend sometime together?’”

Minami: “Sengoku, is that all you think about?”

Yukimura: “Yes, it is such a pity that Rikkai lost to Seigaku. If only I was there...”

Sanada: “No, Yukimura, don’t think like that! It wasn’t your fault, it is completely my fault! I am so sorry for losing, I really am!”

Yukimura: “But Genichiro, I’m not blaming you at all! I know that it wasn’t your fault.”

Sanada: “No, it is all my fault! I am so sorry!” (keep on repeating along these lines. Getting more and more worked up.)

Minami: “Wow…I really wish that I can do that with my team mates too.”

Atobe: “Wait, this isn’t right, it should be ore-sama in the spot light!”

This is a really random scene that I wrote. I was reading volume 20.5 and at the end there was a really humorous scene where the buchou of the Kantou regions were having a meeting, and it was really funny so I just had the idea of ‘What if Shiraishi was there…’ Me and Albatross-sis then had a good laugh about it and then we were talking about the song valentine kiss- which was sung by Atobe, Shishido, Oshitari, Sanada and Ooishi, and we were just saying what would happen if all the buchou and fuku-buchou ended were there. Somehow I then got this crazy idea of writing a conversation of what I think would be happening if there was this really crazy meeting where a lot of the buchou and fuku-buchou was there.

So here it is, totally random, set before the whole national. But anywhere, this is totally random and I just wrote this for a laugh, with help from Albatross-sis and we actually got a really good laugh. Some characters are probably portrayed a bit over the top and some of the characters are probably out of character as I don’t have a good grasp of most other characters. But this is the assumption: Atobe, for reasons, have gathered many of the buchou and fuku-buchou together to sing the song ‘Valentine Kiss’. By the way, this is all sort of from Shiraishi’s point of view. The italic are what the characters are thinking. The bracket parts indicate actions. I am going to be putting up the story version on fan fiction.net soon although this version is not really fan fiction.

Big thanks to Albatross-sis for helping me with many of this. This turn out longer then I thought so I will have to split it into 2 parts.


Shiraishi: “I can’t believe that this is happening to me. I told coach that it is much better to send Kenya instead of me, since his cousin is in Hyotei, and he even nod and said ‘Well, you are the buchou so you know best.’ So this made me arrange every thing for Kenya since I was so relieved that I don’t have to go to this singing gathering, but instead…I actually got shoved onto the train with him saying: ‘I changed my mind, Shiraishi, I realized that it is much better to send the buchou since that is who they asked for. And don’t forget, you are representing Shitenhouji so you must create a very good impression for the people in Kantou.’ It is not as if this is related to tennis in the first place.”

Tachibana: “Hey, you must be Shiraishi Kuranosuke, I’m Tachibana Kappei, I’ve heard Chitose talk about you. Anyway, you’re a bit late.”

Shiraishi: “Oh, Tachibana-kun! I got a bit lost on the way here.”

Tachibana: “Well, you are not from Tokyo so I think that it is quite pardonable for you to be a bit late.”

Sanada: “What took you so long? You are ten minutes late! And you, you are one of the captains of the school who made it to top four in the nationals last year! I expect a less slack performance!”

Shiraishi: “What the…how has that got to do anything? I can be good at tennis but still get lost, especially in a city I haven’t really been to before.”

Tachibana: “Yeah, Sanada-kun, Shiraishi-kun lives in Osaka so…”

Sanada: “I always make sure that I find out all the information about any city I need to go to a few days ahead, and I read the map over on the train in order to commit it to memory. In fact, this is what I did today… (Tachibana quickly usher Shiraishi in.)

Shiraishi: “What the heck…I’ve only seen him once at last year’s nationals. Did I actually do something to offend him? I know that I am late, and I admit that is wrong, but from his reaction it sounds as if…”

Tachibana: “Shiraishi-kun, you live in Osaka so you have no idea as to what Rikkai’s Sanada is like.”

Shiraishi: “Well, I remember last year at the semi-finals, when we were playing in the stadium, there was someone in Rikkai who was ranting about the drinking machine or something like that. It must be him.”

Tachibana: “Wait a second…I think I remember that incident too.”

Sanada: “Sengoku, where is the captain of your school?!”

Minami: “Um…”

Shiraishi: “Isn’t Sengoku-kun the captain?”

Saeki: “Yeah, that’s what I thought too.”

Tachibana: “I have been wondering about that as well, so you guys don’t know either?”

Shiraishi: “I am from Kansai, so I only have a very brief knowledge about the Kantou schools.”

Saeki: “Tachibana-kun, unlike us, you live in Tokyo, so how would we know about Yamabuki’s captain if you don’t even know?”

Minami: “I am the captain of Yamabuki!”

Shiraishi: “Oh I am sorry! I didn’t see you standing right beside me. Well, I’m Shiraishi Kuranosuke, I am the captain of Shitenhouji.”

Minami: “I know, I’ve heard of you.”

Yukimura: “Why, aren’t you Shiraishi Kuranosuke? I remember seeing you at the nationals last year. Are you still the captain of Shitenhouji?”

Shiraishi: “Yukimura-kun, I am glad that you have recovered and yes, I am still the captain. That’s why I am here.”

Yukimura: “Of course! Hahaha. Thank you for your well wish. Eh? Tachibana Kippei from Fudomine and Saeki Kojirou from Rokkaku. Nice to see you guys. And…and…”

Minami: “Minami Kentarou, the captain of Yamabuki.”

Yukimura: “I am sorry but I somehow just couldn’t recollect who you are. Hahaha.”

Sengoku: “Minami, that is why I always tell you that you have to be more obvious. You see, not only does Kansai’s Shiraishi-kun not recognize you, even people from Kantou doesn’t know that you are the captain. Of course, there’s also the fact that girls will never notice you!”

Yukimura: “Sengoku-kun, isn’t that quite harsh? Even though it is the truth!” (walks away to talk to other people.)

Shiraishi: “And I was thinking that Rikkai’s captain can’t be worse than Sanada-kun.”

Tachibana: “Shiraishi-kun, trust me, Rikkai’s captain is much scarier then their vice-captain. By the way, Saeki-kun, isn’t the captain for your school one of the people who is still not here?”

Saeki: “I just hope that he arrives soon, for his sake.”

Tachibana: “You mean after what happened last time?”

Saeki: “What did happen last time, Tachibana-kun? All Kentarou would say about the meeting was that Sanada-kun is the most scary person he has ever seen in his whole life.”

Shiraishi: “I can understand that. At last year’s national, I was talking to their captain and I kept feeling as if someone was staring at me, but I couldn’t see any one doing that. Then at the end, when we were shaking hands, I suddenly felt my hand gripped really tightly- which made me realize that he’s the one staring at me the whole time.”

Saeki: “I don’t think he was staring at you, I think he just looks like that in general.”

Tachibana: “A bit like that guy from Seigaku, the one who always wear a bandana.”


(earlier...)

Ooishi: “…this ‘gathering’ should be quite interesting, as it will be an opportunity to meet many other captains, don’t you think so, Tezuka?”

Tezuka: “I wonder why Sanada has been standing out there for the last fifteen minutes. Unlike Tachibana, he is purposely standing right outside the door. Wait…I think I see someone coming.”

Ooishi: “Isn’t that Shitenhouji’s Shiraishi…oh my goodness, why is Sanada-san screaming at him? Is Shiraishi-kun alright? Do you think we should go and help him out?”

Sengoku: “What’s going on here? Wow…lucky! To be able to see such an interesting scene. Who is that guy anyway? I don’t recognize his uniform.”

Ooishi: “This is starting to look a bit serious, Tezuka, I really think that we should go and help him. Eh, Yukimura-kun, don’t you think you should do something?”

Yukimura: “Huh? Oh, that! But it is starting to get really entertaining!”

Saeki: “Thank goodness I managed to arrive on time.”

Sengoku: “Yeah, me too, lucky!”

Yukimura: “Oh, Shiraishi-kun is coming in the room. What a pity, Genichirou always looks so funny when he gets so work up!”

(Everyone is slowly edging away from Yukimura.)

Yukimura: “Huh? Did I say something strange? Well, I’m going to and talk to Shiraishi-kun, just to see his reaction.”

Mizuki: “Mm-hmm, that is a very interesting piece of information.”


Ooishi: “I think Rokkaku’s captain is coming. Oh my goodness, Sanada-san has start to scream at him, and this is much worse then last time. Tezuka, we really should go and help him, Aoi-kun is only a first year, after all. He looks really scared too.”

Aoi: “I am so sorry! I really am, Sanada-san! I really am so sorry, I wouldn’t be late again! I promise.”

Ooishi: “Tezuka, we really should go and help him!”

Mizuki: “So that is Rokkaku’s first year captain…”

(A very shaken Aoi enters)

Aoi: “Saeki-senpai, I…I am here.”

Saeki: “Are you alright, Kentarou?”

Aoi: “Yes, I think so. Well, I’m still alive…”

Ooishi: “By the way, Mizuki-kun, how come Akazawa-kun isn’t here?”

Mizuki: “Mm-hmm, I am representing him.”

Yukimura: “True, now that I think about it you are not the captain of St Rudolph, are you?”

Mizuki: “…”

Yukimura: “Are you the vice-captain then? But that doesn’t sound right…”

Tezuka: “Sanada is still standing outside the door. Shouldn’t we be preparing to start?”

Yukimura: “Genichirou? He’ll enter whenever he wants to.”

Ooishi: “But it is about fifteen minutes past the starting time, maybe we should start now. Um…perhaps one of us should go and get him.”

Saeki: “I don’t really know him so no.”

Shiraishi: “No way, I am not going to get another lecture by that guy, I know I shouldn’t have been late in the first place but that guy’s reaction is too extreme.”

Sengoku: “Just how old is Sanda-kun anyway? He looks so…old. I wonder what girls will think about him?”

Shiraishi: “I don’t know, he looked like that at last year’s nationals too. When I first saw him I thought that he was…actually, forget about what I just said.”

Yukimura: “Shiraishi-kun, are you sure that you don’t want to finish what you are saying? Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell Genichirou.”

Shiraishi: “Yeah right…”

Tezuka: “Tachibana just went out to get him.”

Sengoku: “Really, I want to see that! Lucky!”

(Tachibana re-enters)

Tachibana: “He says that he will not move until he sees the last person enter.”

Ooishi: “But we need to start the meeting! What should we do, what should we do? Tezuka, what should we do?”

Tezuka: “Ah…”

Shiraishi: “I don’t think that would work, I really feel sorry for the rest, if Kentarou and I got yelled so much just for being a bit late, then I hate to see what will happen to someone this late. By the way, who is still absent?”

Tezuka: “Who else but Atobe.”

Shiraishi: “Atobe-kun? The captain of Hyotei? One of my team mates has a cousin in that school and we hear a lot of bizarre stories from him. Including the rumour of the club consisting hundreds of cheerleaders, and some one who always start the game by throwing his jacket into the air.”

Ooishi: “What are we going to do? What are we going to do?”

Tachibana: “Haven’t you played against Hyotei before, Shiraishi-kun?”

Mizuki: “Mm-hmm, that school…”

Ooishi: “Tezuka, we should really do something!”

Yukimura: “Ah, Genichirou can be so stubborn.” (taps on the window) Genichirou, why don’t you come in?”

Rest: “Like that will work, it’s not as if he can even hear him…oh my goodness, Sanada just came in!!!”

My mum went back to Taiwan yesterday, so I’m now stuck in the house with my sister and my dad, hopefully every thing would be ok. Laugh…I am making this sound really bad, ain’t I? But well…you’ll understand if I know me. It’s just that tension can easily erupt. But anyway…I couldn’t go to the airport with my mum because Albatross-sis has to drive back and she can’t carry passengers. But apparently the airport security is like super strict nowadays…

First of all you actually can’t bring any stuff like hand cream, tooth paste and lip blam/stick onto the plane unless you tell them and put it in a special bag. I seriously don’t get the last one. I guess I can sort of see this scene in my head: using tooth paste to attack someone by squirting tooth paste into their eyes, but I can’t exactly see how lip stick and lip balm will be really dangerous. But then Albatross-sis reminded me of what happened in the film ‘Bandits’ and I guess that sort of make sense, the beginning, because in the very beginning of the film, Bruce Willis’ character used a highlighter to fool people into thinking that he have a gun. Although it still seem a bit over the top. Apparently almost everyone was like tidying their bag or something. So it seems that you have to put these stuff in this bag and tell them when you want to use it or something like that. Oh, and last of all…the tooth paste can only be half full or so.

So I guess I should no longer be so bitter about the confiscation of my hair pin. Here is the story for those who do not know it. About two and half a year ago- the last time when I went back to Taiwan, I brought a lot of hair pins because I wanted them- this was when I still had my very long hair, and my sister wanted some too. So they were long metal ones, kind of like the thing you see on Chinese ladies hair in the past, but of course, not as elaborate. We had to transfer in Sydney air port and once there…they confiscated these hair pin because they were dangerous. (sniff…cries) Even now I mourn for their loss. I wonder what happens to them, surely they wouldn’t just be chucked into the bin? But compared to the whole lip balm/stick thing I guess I can understand, they can be dangerous as they are rather long and sharp, so they probably would make good weapons.

But anyway, here is the great irony. After you go through the firm security of the air port in NZ, the air port in Taiwan is the opposite. Instead of checking any stuff, they just wave at you to leave. None of my family ever had our luggage checked in Taiwan’s air port and the first time I went back is in 1995, so after about twelve years they still don’t cheek your stuff. A big as contrast to here, almost always we will get our stuff thoroughly examined. And we tend to bring huge as luggage too…

Here it is, the final chapter of Sacrifice up, I think I will put up my Inuyasha one next, just because I want to.

Third year: the bible vs. the genius

They were here again, the last barrier in front of his goal. The difference was that he would be the first to play, instead of the last. This was quite an unusual position for a captain to be in, but he sometimes thought that a team should let their strong players be in the front as well, to ensure that they would have the opportunity of playing.
So his opponent was Fuji Shuusuke, the genius of Seigaku, instead of Tezuka Kunimitsu, the captain. If Chitose was right, then he was at a very dangerous position.
Taking a deep breath, he took out his racquet, looking at the photo of him and Ashita once more. He would go out and try to win because he has done and gave up so much in order to be here.
He would only leave before a match was finished if he lost all conscious and had to be dragged off. He did not do all that he did just to give up when he was at the deciding point.
Oshitari told him that his cousin in Tokyo could control his emotions by closing his heart completely. He wasn’t gifted like that, so he must concentrate on the match by forbidding any stray thoughts to appear.
Unlike many other players, Shiraishi usually play with all his capabilities as soon as the match begins. Doing otherwise was too dangerous, even if he received pleasure in disillusioning or embarrassing his opponents by suddenly catching up- not that he gained any satisfaction from such things.
Fuji Shuusuke was obviously very different from him, and his attitude was irritating him, almost angering him. Why not just play seriously from the very beginning? Instead of making you defeated opponents more bitter at their loss by a comeback, when the result of winning was the same.
It was this that made him speak to his opponent during the game, something that he rarely did. His words were rather cutting, almost bordering on being a taunt.
“Surely you have more then that.” He said rather coldly. “Don’t hold back, use all your triple counters.”
He was able to defeat Fuji’s triple counters because of his knowledge on the rules of tennis. Despite how flash or elaborate his opponent’s tennis was, they were still guided by these same set of rules.
Although, he admitted to himself, playing tennis that way would be much more fun then his perfect tennis. He really did mean what he said to Fuji.

The game seemed very quick until Fuji’s miraculous recovery. Like all those who saw the game, Shiraishi was completely shocked at the evolved triple counters.
Now he couldn’t even hit the ball over the net…as stupid as that sound, he really couldn’t do it!
His first reaction was actually jealousy, instead of worrying about the result. He instinctively felt that it was not fair- that his opponent was a genius, unlike himself. While he admitted that he had some talent towards tennis, it was never something that he could rely on completely.
No, he had to practice so much in order to be this good, but Fuji was catching up with all these long hours of practice within minutes due to his evolved triple counters.
Fuji’s word also angered him greatly. ‘It is my wish to let my team reach the finals of the nationals, so I cannot lose!’ Shiraishi was not sure whether it was the tone or the suggestion of the words that made him so furious. Did Fuji honestly think that his own goal was any different?
All his sacrifices were done for this! To take his team to the finals.
Strangely, these emotions calmed him down, as he was now even more determined to win this match. This was no longer just about scoring a win for his team, it was becoming very personal.
He was battling for his pride as well- he refused to lose to such a person in such a circumstance! He would not let all his sacrifices be in vain, and he was resolved to win in order to show that hard work was just as important as talent. He would not lose just because his opponent suddenly changed his attitude. He must win and prove that actions like Fuji’s- even if he was a genius- has consequences.
Shiraishi’s inner struggles were barely visible as he actually made all these chain of thoughts very rapidly.
Fuji noticed that the captain of Shitenhouji was different then many of his previous opponents from the very start. His current opponent was not cocky or confident, he was simply calm. With the evolvement of his triple counters, Fuji could tell, with some satisfaction, that Shiraishi began to panic, but if he had been less sure about the success of his final counter, then he would have discovered that Shiraishi was no longer panicking, but was focused on studying the ball once more.
The rules were the same, but they were more hidden now.
Fuji finally realized his mistake of underestimating his opponent when the ball was getting considerably higher. He thought that Shiraishi would not be able to remain calm due to such a turn of the tide. After all, he has never seen anyone else who could.
When the ball almost fell to the other side of the net, Shiraishi finally smiled again, even though it was match point for the second time. He was absolutely certain that the game would continue much longer.
He was right, his next swing did send the ball to his opponent’s side of the net.
“The others do not see this, but Shiraishi is just as determined as Fuji. Their desire to win is actually equally strong.” Watanabe stated to his team.

Shiraishi managed to score until the game reached the final stage, when Fuji served the white dragon again. He cursed inwardly at this, even though he probably could work out a counter, but he wasn’t confident that his judgement and first attempt would be accurate.
Nevertheless, he still prepared himself to hit the ball as it descends.
“Out!” the judge broke into a loud shout. “Game set. Win by Shiraishi 7-6.”
Shiraishi was glad that he won but he knew that he would not remain happy once he stepped off the court, when he would begin to think rationally. He won because Fuji’s serve went too far, which was caused by his opponent being too exhausted, and that only happened because Fuji had not play with his maximum potential from the start of the match.
But he was the winner, and for now he was glad of that.
He did not know how he would feel and react if he lost, and he did not want to be a hypocrite by saying that his actions would not alter. Like most people, he did not like losing- especially in this circumstance.
Of course, he would still admit that his opponent was very skilled and shake his hand, but he might not be the one to initiate the process.
He was glad that the members of the tennis club were not gloating, as he was not sure whether he could even take part in their celebration- he only won by chance.
“Hey, the most important thing is that you won.” Oshitari told him.
He forced himself to smile and nod, as this was what he tells his team. As the captain, he was required to act according to his teachings.
But he was obviously not doing a good enough job, as his coach soon approached him, accompanied by the girl wearing a sakura patterned yukata, with her hair tied by a lace-like ribbon.


Author’s Note: I think most people would have worked out what this chapter is going to be about just by looking at the title- which is directly taken from the author’s chapter title. Well, I found this chapter quite hard to write, because it was set within the actual match, so I didn’t know how I could manage the whole tennis thing. But much to my surprise, I do like the result, although it seems quite short compared to the other chapters. My other story, my first prince of tennis fan fiction, is probably directly after this bit, but there will be one more chapter. I did spend sometime wondering whether I should actually change ‘in order to win’ to make it fit in this story, I decided to not do this because I wrote ‘in order to win’ as a one shot, so it will be different if I altered it to put it in this story. I will put in order to win up later, or you can go read it at fanfiction.net

I really do like volume 36 and as I said before, the match between Shiraishi and Fuji is one of the deciding points that make me realize ‘hey I want to read this whole story’. And from that moment Shiraishi becomes my favourite character. So for that alone, I hope I did this chapter alright. But it’s not really about describing the match, but an attempt of Shiraishi’s perspective, how he felt.

As for the people I refer to in regard to not playing their full potential since the very beginning, I’m referring to both Fuji and Ibu- Tachibana mentioned that Ibu tend to like letting the game be 4-0 then suddenly catching up. Perhaps in a way, Aoi Kentarou too, granted that is his strategy but I just feel that it is too risky.


Third year: the last time

The reconciled couple was sitting outside the porch, stealing some time together before Shiraishi heads back to the lodging where the entire tennis club of Shitenhouji was staying in. They were holding hands again, while her head rested on his shoulder.
“I am still a bit worried about Chitose, that will he will change his mind and quit again. The problem is that unlike the rest, he never really seemed to belong. Of course, there are others in the club who are good but…”
“Maybe you will all do such a wonderful job that you would only need to play three games.” Ashita told him optimistically.
“I do hope that and our team is quite strong. I only know that I will definitely be playing tomorrow, as it will be the last time I play my ‘perfect tennis’.”
“Kuranosuke, are you sure?” she tilted her head in order to look at him. “What if…”
“I promise that I won’t have a break down again if Shitenhouji ends up being forth.” He assured her. “Ashita, the reason that I was so stupid last year was because I felt guilty for not using perfect tennis all the time. I still don’t know whether I was right or wrong, but since I did all that I could in order to win this year, I wouldn’t feel as if I let my team down anymore.”
He couldn’t really explain himself but he suddenly kissed her on the lips after he finished speaking- it was the first time he did such a thing.
“Kuranosuke?!”
“We are fifteen now, Ashita. We’ve been going out for a whole year and were friends for a year before that.”
“But still…” she protested, blushing at being kissed for the first time. But she did not draw away, and she even rested her head on his shoulders again.

“So now you know all that Shiraishi did for the sake of Shitenhouji’s tennis team.” Watanabe said softly, as he and Chitose carefully left the couple they were spying on. “So don’t you think that you should play for Shitenhouji one last time?”
“I will.” Chitose promised, still shocked at what was revealed and said to him. He always knew that Shiraishi was very dedicated to the team’s win as the captain, but he never once imagined that Shiraishi would go this far: playing a style of tennis that he did not like at all, devoting numerous extra hours to practising his perfect tennis, and even breaking up with the girl that he seemed to like greatly.
What touched him the most was that Shiraishi did all these for the team, not for himself. Chitose didn’t necessary agree with some of Shiraishi’s actions, to an extent he was placing his team above his love for tennis, but Chitose did feel that he was obliged to play and win for Shitenhouji one last time.
Shiraishi’s goal of taking his team to the finals would not come true, but Chitose was determined to help Shiraishi gain the next best thing: the title of being third.

The order was announced the next morning, just a few hours before the commence of their last match in the nationals.
Kintarou would play singles 3, with Oshitari and Zaizen in doubles 2- a compensation for what happened yesterday.
As for singles 2…it was Shiraishi, and he might very well be playing the deciding match.
Unknown to Shiraishi, his team mates were actually all really determined to win the game against Nagoya Seitoku for his sake. After what Chitose and their coach told them last night, along with additional information from Konjiki and Hitouji, the whole team felt that playing their very best in order to let Shitenhouji be third in this year’s nationals was the only way to repay all Shiraishi did for them.
Even Kintarou was not just playing for himself. Though he really was scared of Shiraishi due to his ‘poisoned hands’, he was fond of his captain as Shiraishi has helped him in numerous ways- from taking him to almost all of their matches, to speaking with his teachers in regard to his homework and test results.
Kintarou easily won his game, and even though Zaizen and Oshitari faced some problems in the first few rounds, they still won in the end.
Shiraishi was very calm as he stepped onto the court, even though this may be the last match of the round. But to him, the match seemed more significant for the reason that it was the last time he plays his perfect tennis, as well as the final match he plays as a member of a team.
He did not like perfect tennis as it was too boring and it robbed him of his enjoyment of tennis. But it would always represent the significant two years of his life when he was the captain of a team.
His future as a solo player was secured as Watanabe told him that he had offers from many tennis clubs in Japan, especially from Osaka, due to his performance in all his three years of junior high school. They would arrange for him to play with other single players on a part time basis, which allows him to continue studying. He would only be belonging in the club, not representing them, so he could play the way that he wanted.
“I have someone from one of the clubs who wants to talk to you after you finish.” His coach informed him.

Shitenhouji did manage to gain third place gloriously with a win of 3-0.
“So this is the end.” Shiraishi said softly as he walked to the cheers of his team mates and the members of the tennis club, to his coach and to Ashita- who was sitting with the team.
“Well done, Shiraishi.” A familiar voice which he has not heard in two years said warmly.
“Captain?!” Shiraishi chocked out- face to face with the one who was his captain, the one who guided him for a whole year by being his doubles partner, as well as the one responsible for him being the captain from his second year.
“It has been a while, Shiraishi.” His captain continued. “I’ve attended every match Shitenhouji was in and I can only say that you are a very good captain, exceeding my original expectations.
“I saw the nationals last year too, and I would have congratulated you then, but the manager of the club I am in had arranged for me to attend a match directly after the end of Shitenhouji’s game.”
“I really wish that you came and talked to me last year.” Shiraishi said with a rather bitter smile. “Perhaps things might end up different.”
“Watanabe-san told me what happened to you and I am truly sorry that you felt I wouldn’t be happy with what you have done. My hope is that you would take Shitenhouji to the nationals and you actually did much better then that.”
“Don’t…don’t apologise. You and sensei might have been the one who set me on this patch but ultimately I was the one who choose to walk that way. The truth is that it is mostly my own fault, because of my pride.” Shiraishi admitted. “As I was the captain in my second year, I felt that I had to do something exceptional. As for my obsession this year…I think it was the fear that others might say I am doing an even worse job.”
“Then know that you have probably succeeded in being one of the best captains in the history of Shitenhouji’s tennis club.” His captain told him sincerely. “But Shiraishi, you have done enough as the captain, it is time for you to do whatever you want.”
“To play tennis the way I like- the way I used to.” He answered very softly. “Sometimes I would play that way again, and it is like a reward, as only then do I enjoy myself. These rare times also remind me why I play tennis in the first place.
He would still be a very good player without his perfect tennis, because he never gave up his old way of playing. His study of the rules in order to develop his perfect tennis would still help him, even if he no longer plays that way.
Shiraishi was not wrong in saying that he had some talent in regard to tennis, and his willingness of working hard to improve made him even better. He also had the advantage of starting at a very young age. The teacher who looked after his class in kindergarten used to play tennis so she taught them the very basic rules, which advantaged him when he began to play tennis properly in elementary school.
He was already a very skilled player by the time he entered junior high school, and his captain’s guidance helped him greatly. The main reason that he turned to perfect pennies was because it would help him to win more, not because it would improve his skills at a drastic level.
“It is best for you to think about all the other offers you will soon hear about, although I do hope that you will join my club.” His captain told him.
“So just enjoy yourself in Tokyo and only worry when you get back to Osaka.” Watanabe said. “Shiraishi…if you would like any advices then I will be very happy to share some.”
Watanabe used to be in one of these clubs until he decided to become a coach. He realized, after numerous victories, that he would receive a greater pleasure in helping young boys to achieve the success he managed.
But he forgot that winning was not always the main thing until it was much too late- when Shiraishi already made up his mind.
“I will like that, Sensei.” Shiraishi said with a smile, understanding that the offer was an act of apology.
Turning to Ashita, he took her hand and he was truly amazed at how everything turned out in the end. Not only could he start playing tennis the way he liked, he finally got the answer he hoped to hear from the captain that he greatly admired and respected. Ashita has also forgiven him completely for what he did to her.
He was happy right now, and he knew that this happiness would stay because his sacrifices taught him much.


Author’s Note: I am kind of sad that this story is finally over. It really was very enjoyable to write, and it was also quite a change from the other stories I was writing about. This story seems, to an extent, deal with the very daily life even though these characters are extraordinary. What I mean is that they are set in our time and perhaps it is not that impossible that there might be people like them (even though some of the tennis is so elaborate that it is just too impossible.) But comparing this to the other fan fiction I have write/wrote: Fushigi Yugi, a story set in an ancient-China world about heroes and everything, Baldur’s Gate, a game that is set in a fantasy world a bit like the middle ages, and in my fan fiction my main character is an assassin, so definitely not really everyday in our world.

A thing that I have really debated on and on is this: should I categorize this story as ‘romance’ as well? Because part of it does have a romantic element- him realizing that he likes Ashita in such a way, their reaction to the break up, and their reconciliation- which suggests that they are progressing in their relationship. (laugh, it seems I have a habit to leave a really long author note as I finishes a story, maybe it is because I know that this is the last time I get to do this.) But ultimately I decided that this story is not focusing about romance, it is about Shiraishi. What happened with him and Ashita is not the focus, but merely one of the things that happened to him. I think I realize this when I wrote the last chapter, he didn’t specifically think of his action of dumping him and Ashita as that is just one of his sacrifice, it is not his only sacrifice. There are other things: playing perfect tennis and spending a lot of hours practicing perfect tennis. But what his captain said to him: “You have done enough as the captain, it is time for you to do whatever you want.” Is something I would really like to say to him.

As I write this story, I almost wonder whether I should change the title to ‘in order to win,’ as I almost feel that I was using that phrase so much more then any other words.

‘Sacrifice’ is finally finished and if you have read it and enjoyed it then please leave me a final comment now that it is finished. This story really is finished as everything has ended, but I have been writing some more one shots focusing on Shiraishi, and some is set after the story line of Sacrifice.