autumnleaf16

Author’s Note: Puraido means pride.

He had knelt by her side and held her hand without any complaint throughout the ordeal, although it must have been very hard for him too, as he could easily lose both of them.
The result of the hardest battle she had fought in was the birth of their daughter.
As her parents had already expected, she was beautiful and perfect, but she must have been unsatisfied at having only surprised them with her early arrival, because she would shock them again with her appearance.
She was like her human mother in every way apart from the unusually sharp nails at the tip of her fingers, and the golden eyes of her yokai father along with having her ears pointed, instead of curved. Unlike her ‘uncle’, however, her ears were not on top of her head like a dog, but at the same place as a human’s.
“It is not impossible to think of her as fully human.” Her mother finally said as she handed her to her father, whose eyes remained tender for the last few months.
“She looks like her mother.” He stated, his lips curled into one of his rare smiles “What will her name be?”
Without discussing it, they both knew that the child would be named by her, as he would be spending more time with their child anyway due to the much shorter life span of a human. It was important for her to name the child to ensure that she would not be forgotten by her daughter.
Initially she thought about following the practise of her people by giving the child an elemental name, but she gave up on the idea due to the arrival of the perfect name.
“Namida.” (As there are no plural in Japanese, Namida can mean both tear and tears. (as in the thing that comes out from your eyes, in case- just in case somehow anyone thought of it as the wrong meaning.) which is not impossible, as sometimes I get so zoned out that really obvious stuff doesn’t really register!!!)
“Are you sure?” he immediately asked, the smile replaced by a frown.
“One day she will be the only one you would be able to shed tears for.” She whispered, her voice rather weak due to childbirth, “Perhaps…perhaps her name will also serve as a reminder of what will happen with her birth.”
“You choose to leave tomorrow?”
She nodded and stretched her hands out toward him, wishing to be able to spend this last night in his embrace.
“This will be hard for Rin to accept. She believes that what happened is a sign that you will stay forever.”
“Instead of the opposite. That is why I said it would be better if I leave before she ends up being too attached…”
“You did. But Rin…Rin was not the only one you should have warned.” He said softly as he handed their daughter to her in order to wrap his one arm around her. “Yet such warnings would be useless. I have no regrets, and I would change nothing.”
That night was the last night they spend together, as their eternity finally shattered.

She was to be dressed in her plain kimono once again with her few worldly possessions clutched in her hands tightly. The difference was that she would be leaving permanently this time, and not all her belongings were taken.
Her daughter was not in her arms, but in his…the one she was walking away from, when she wanted nothing more then to hold her daughter and be held by him.
But there were things that she had to do…things that she would not be able to do if she remained here.
Her people must be avenged, and by being the last survivor, she was bound to spend her life doing so. Until she ends this task, her life was not fully her’s. That was why she had to leave this dream.
Naraku was a dangerous foe, so it was not impossible that this might be the last time she sees any of them. She could only hope that her daughter would be able to understand her actions if she ended up unable to defend herself due to an early death.
It was unthinkable that a mother was able to leave their child behind, especially when the child was only a day old.
How could she do such a thing then?
Because Sesshomaru needed Namida more then her- to remind him about how he had once saved a human woman and ended up in love with her. He also required their child in order for him to understand that however brief a time they had, it would not simply fade into nothingness with her death.
That was why she did not take her daughter with her.

He had entertained the idea of travelling with her in order to continue being beside her, and he knew that she would not reject his protection completely, because he was the one who possessed her love. But this question was never asked as doing so would be begging, and he still had his pride.
Likewise, she might easily agree to stay with him and abandon every thing else if he should ask her, but she refused to plead with him because of the vow she had made in front of the grave of her people: that she would avenge them by her own hands.
His pride refused to let him ask her to not leave him, while her pride forbids her to turn away from her chosen path. It was this same pride that did not let them reach a compromise by travelling together as neither of them were willing to beg or plead.
But didn’t they love each other for that too?
Rin, to be expected, was still crying even though she realized that her tears would not help her to alter Sango’s decision.
“But why? Why do you have to go away?” she repeated over and over again between her sobs. “You and Sesshomaru-sama were both so happy! I love both of you! And Namida, what about her?”
“Rin, stop this.” Her guardian commanded, forcing all emotion to be gone from his voice, causing him to end up sounding too harsh, as the little girl’s crying worsened.
“It is not possible to always do what we most want to do.” Sango said softly as she placed her hand on Kirara- having reached her faithful companion at last.
The one who would take her away.
“Sango,” he finally spoke again, his voice now very soft and even slightly shaky. “Sango, will you come back?”
“Of course.” She whispered, her words muffled.
“Then when you return…I will mark you as my mate when you come back.” He stated without any hesitation. “I love you, and unlike Inuyasha or that monk, I will always love you.”
“I won’t leave again when I come back.” She promised.
Their promises were the only things that their pride allowed them to speak, even though there were so much more words that they wanted to say.
“Sesshomaru, I will return.”
“And I will be waiting for you, Sango.”

Author’s Note: as I said in the beginning, this story is not going to be happy story, and I guess it really shows in this chapter. Basically Sango leaves him because she feels bound by her duty, and Sesshomaru does not ask her to stay with him because he sees that as begging, as he would not beg. What he said to Sango about choosing to leave the next day is very symbolic because it shows that he knows she would leave all along. As for why they refused to ask the other to travel with them, it relates to pride again- asking him to help in her quest, asking her to let him travel with her. So their pride really plays a large part in this bit. Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku and probably Shippo would be coming out in the next chapter!!!