autumnleaf16

Author’s Note: as I said before, this is the chapter when the two of them finally gets together. This is the hardest chapter that I have ever wrote and I noticed that even though I am obsessed by romance stories (all my fan fiction are dealing with romance, the category is always romance) I haven’t actually focus on people falling in love that much, but rather, on people who are in love. In my fushigi yugi fan fiction, it was love at first sight, so the story deals with them when they both realize their love for each other, while in my genbu kaiden one it has the guy realizing he love her as he doesn’t want her to leave, and in Lost I start the story with a couple that were already in love. So what I am trying to say is…forgive me if it is not done that good.

Towa means forever as well as eternal, eien kind of means the same thing but I like the word towa better ever since I heard the song “Towa no hana”

She was sitting with a bunch of lilies in front of her- Rin’s latest gift. For the sake of the little girl, she had accepted it with a rather forced smile , as lilies brought her too many memories.
Her trainings had dominated her whole childhood, but there were times when she was able to pick flowers with other children. The flowers that she picked in these rare moments were always lilies, they had been her favourite flowers due to her mother.
She would be rewarded with a loving hug regardless of the type of flowers she had picked, but lilies always made her mother happier. That was why she ended up loving lilies- that smiling face with the garland of lilies was the few images she had of her mother.
Picking up one of the lilies in front of her, she managed to smile slightly as she thought of the bouquet her brother once picked for her. This must be another indication that her wounds were healing- she could think about him without crying every single time.
Was this an indication that she should start focusing on her own life?
But things had changed, she no longer wanted to marry Miroku. Instead, she was thinking about a yokai, trying to work out what she really felt towards him.
Her father once told her that the most dangerous type of yokai were those who could appear as humans…like him. But it was he that saved her when no one else could, and it was also he who made sure that she was healing.
Now they were sharing their pasts…neither of them condemning, or even judging.
What exactly were they doing?
More importantly, why?
As she told him, she was unwilling to leave him right now. In a way it was similar to how she had been with Miroku.
But there was a slight difference with her emotions, what she felt for Miroku was a love that was sweet and gentle, as he held her she would imagine the two of them living in a peaceful village with children. When she gazed at Sesshomaru, she only sees the two of them together in this cave.
She could only see him as who he was right now.
Perhaps she had fallen in love with Miroku because it had been ideal to do so. He was the first man to comfort her after her people were all gone, and since they were usually thrown together, it really shouldn’t be that surprising for them to grow so close, and eventually fall in love.
With Sesshomaru…she was in love even though it seemed an impossible situation, at the very least it was highly unusual. She didn’t even know how it had happened, nor could she work out the exact moment- although she had been afraid that something like this might occur.
Love was not as perfect as she had once thought, because it was not the path to eternal happiness. No matter what he might feel, this story would only end in tragedy. To love him would only cause her pain as they could never be together for a long time, and if she was somehow loved back- she would be burdened with guilt for being responsible for his pains.
“But I still want to be here,” she realized, “no matter what, I want to be beside him.
“I am in love with him.” She admitted, letting the flower in her hand fall to the ground.

If he had not been so occupied by his thoughts, then he would have heard her words and saved himself from agitation. But he was so eager to find out the answer that he didn’t even wait for the arrival of the night.
He would only admit that he was in love if she could care for him…if being in love meant desiring her so much that he was willing to be weaker. As she smiled at him, he realized that he would actually give up some of his own strength if it would help her.
Strange as it was, he no longer considered his actions as degrading.
“Sango, what am I to you?”
Without hesitation, she told him the truth. She decided to be blunt, as she was getting tired of wandering about everything, eve if it meant that she might have to leave him.
Maybe she was brave because she believes that she had some sort of chance, as he was becoming very different from the yokai who saved her due to some strange reason.
“You are special to me because I think I love you”
She thought of many reactions, but having him place his arm around her shoulders to draw her close to him was certainly not one.
“I do not know what love is.” He whispered, his voice finally gentle, and even though it sounded rather alien, she liked it. “But I do know that I want you to be by my side, and I wish to be the one you care for the most, because you have become the most special person to me.”
“But you must know,” she whispered gently as she tilted her head to look straight into his now warm eyes. “We will still have to say good bye.”
He nodded, but he did not release her.
They would not have a long time together, but to any pair of lovers –even ones as strange as them- each single night could be like an eternity.

Kirara was to finally find her mistress a day after their declaration. Although he was glad at how happy she was, the other yokai’s arrival reminded him that all this was only temporary. That was what made him to finally tell her of his other wish.
“I wish to have a child with you.” He said softly to the woman who now spends each night intertwined in his arms.
At first she was puzzled, but then her eyes lit with understanding, as he had expected it would. “As a reminder that all this happened?”
“No matter what you will leave me first. That is unchangeable.” He whispered. “But if we have a child then I can have part of you beside me.”
“But the child will be a hanyou.”
“I can give them a life different from Inuyasha’s.”
She shook her head and sat up, wrapping her arms around her legs as her eyes darkened.
“The child will be a hanyou.” She repeated.
“But you will be the mother, so I will love them.” He promised when he finally understood the implications of her words correctly. “I…I would still hate Inuyasha if he was a yokai.”
Assured by his words, she allowed herself to be pulled into his embrace once again. Soon they would resume their love making. With Miroku, she had never been able to forget the importance of marriage, thus she had refused to make love to him when he suggested it after his proposal.
Such conventions were thrown away in regard to Sesshomaru.
Perhaps it was because every part of their relationship was the opposite of conventionality. Though they loved each other, they could never wed or remain together for a long time.
It was the complete opposite from her childhood dreams, what she could have if she returned to Miroku. He would probably still wish to marry her, and be faithful for periods of time. With him, she could be married with children who would have both parents.
She scattered these dreams because she loved Sesshomaru that much. The memories of being with him would be enough to comfort her when she was no longer with him.
It was almost cruel to let her love the man she would never marry so much more then the one she once agreed to marry.

Author’s Note: first of all I did try to make this chapter good and by good I mean good, as well as not being out of character. But if you don’t like, I wouldn’t be angry. But anyway, I hope that what Sesshomaru ask of Sango is not really out of character, because as he would outlive for her for such a long time, I think he would want to have a child in order to remember what had happened with her, and prevent himself from forgetting. Maybe I will be able to expand this idea in the next chapter. But anyway, in regard to Inuyasha- as stated in the last chapter, his hatred for Inuyasha is mainly due to jealousy and how Inuyasha caused his father’ death. Also, Miroku is not going to be a bastard in this story, Sango’s refusal had nothing to do with his actions. I know that the eternity idea is cliché but I really want to use it so… Lastly, names are used a lot due the fact that Sango was thinking about both him and Miroku.