autumnleaf16

Author’s Note: Sayonara means good bye, a more formal and permanent way of farewell, as opposed to ja ne, which means see you.

Once that she realized what she must do, she began to pack and at the same time she wished that she had more belongings to sort out, as her task was completed too quickly.
The last item to go into her small bag of possession was the elaborate kimono, she simply couldn’t resist the temptation of holding it up to admire it a last time before she put it in her bag. Now that she was in her old and plain kimono again- which she managed to sew back, although the stitches were very obvious- the rich kimono was the only reminder of the many strange weeks she had spent here.
No matter what might happen, Sango knew that she would always treasure this piece of clothing due to the memory that it contains.
Strangely enough, Sesshomaru had been the one that made her recover from her mental wounds as well as the physical ones, as she now realize that she no longer love Miroku, and facing him would not be very difficult. The man she did not want to face had transformed into another.
If all her wounds were healed, then she has no excuse of staying here anymore. And the truth was that regardless of all that could happen, or what she might feel, she would eventually have to say good bye to Sesshomaru.
It was better to do it now, instead of delaying it and making the farewell more difficult by causing her already puzzled heart to be even more confused.
By leaving him now, she would be able to recall what had happened as a strange event, instead of being the beginning of another series of painful memories. It was impossible to forget, so she must do the next best thing by choosing how she would remember.
“I must leave now.” She finally whispered, as she carefully folded the fine kimono and tucked it into her bag, then reached for the furry pelt that she had continued to wear.

Outside the cave, a little girl was playing happily as she had reached the belief that her whole world had become perfect, and would not alter. Like most children, she was unaware that adults tend to choose the most complicated path.
Sesshomaru was naturally not far away from the girl that really ended up as his ward, although he would never admit that he was watching her due to concern. No, he was not sitting there because he was slightly worried about her safety, he just happened to choose that spot as a seat.
The fact that it was also near enough towards the cave to allow him to immediately discover any harm that might befall on the human woman has certainly not crossed his mind at all.
As she walked out from the cave, he quickly turned his gaze away from that direction, least he had to admit to himself that he was actually thinking about her in any way.
She was dressed in that crude kimono again, and it really was quite a pity…not that how she appeared matter to him at all.
Silently, without announcing her arrival to Rin, she walked to stand beside him, then stretched her hands out toward him.
She was holding his pelt, what he had given her when he ripped…when she caused him to rip her kimono. He had allowed her to continue wearing it due to a strange whim that he was still unable to explain.
The pelt was actually a piece of clothing that served as a symbol of both status and identity, and the bearer of such a thing rarely allowed anyone else to touch it, let along wear it.
But in a moment of madness he had not only given it to someone else, he had let her, a human woman, to continue wearing it.
The even strange thing was that instead of snatching the pelt back to pretend that it never happened, he was almost…reluctant.
“I thought that I should return this to you as I am…” here Sango paused slightly, a bit disappointed to confirm that she had been right all along. Sesshomaru’s amber eyes were still showing no emotions- there was not even a brief hint of warmness.
“I am leaving.” She finished, releasing her hold on the pelt to let it drop onto Sesshomaru’s hand since it remained by his side.
“Now?” he finally spoke after a long silence.
“Now.” She repeated softly. “All my wounds are healed.”
A silence surfaced again as he turned away from her to look at the playing Rin once more.
“She will not like it. She is attached to you.”
“Then it is better for me to leave now to prevent her from being too attached to me. As I can not stay here forever, it will be best for me to go now.”
He didn’t say anything, and at this she sighed again before she turned away from him to retreat into the cave for the last time, to grab her belongings and leave.
After all, he made it clear that he did not really care personally whether she was here or not. If that was the case, then what was the point of remaining here?

From the shadows, he watched her picking up her bag and slipped it over her head, before she slung her boomerang over her shoulder. That was really all the possessions that she owned.
Taking a deep breath, she took a step toward the entrance of the cave, something that she had done numerous of time before. But the difference was that by taking her belongings with her, she was preparing to make this the last time.
He thought about letting her go, and make this episode as nothing but a queer incident. But he would always remember her…this human woman who was not only so different from all others that he had met, she was also the only one who made him act in ways that he never expected himself to behave in.
Since the very first day when he used Tenseiga to save her, he had begun to act uncharacteristically.
Sango was halfway out when he suddenly appeared in front of her. As always, he reminded her of a statue. Beautifully carved with only one flow: there was not the lightest hint of a smile.
Yes, she was willing to admit to herself, Sesshomaru was beautiful in a very strange way. But it was not this that affected her so much, in truth, she still did not understand the cause of her feelings.
“Sango…”
As he said her name for the very first time, she gasped slightly. She was well aware of the symbolism in his action, he now considered her to be a person, instead of just being a thing that he happened to come across.
“Sango,” he repeated again. “Do not leave yet.”
“But I will have to leave.” She replied calmly, although she was actually very nervous and shocked at this turn of event. She hasn’t even been this nervous when she faced Naraku!
“I know.” He agreed, his voice was still rather flat, but it was softer then usual. “I know this. But now is not the time.”
“Why not?”
“Because I do not wish to say goodbye yet.”
“Why?”
At the repetition he could only shake his head, admitting to another that he did not always have an explanation.
“I do not know.”
Even though he usually gained what he wanted, he was uncertain whether she would actually stay as he was not aware of any reasons that might cause her to. However, she actually smiled as she placed her belongings on the ground once more.
Her expression was very strange too, it almost seemed as if she was…relieved.
“I did not want to leave either.” She said simply.
“Why?”
Like him, she did not really know how to answer the question. Like him, she could only repeat the following words.
“I do not know.”

Author’s Note: I quite like this chapter as they almost got together. Sango is admitting that she have strange feelings for him, while in his denial, Sesshomaru is showing his feelings for her as well. I like the ending- when he realized that he doesn’t want her to leave. So basically I quite like this chapter.