autumnleaf16

Wow…it is Friday today, I actually realized this with some shock. Since it is Friday, I will be putting up another chapter of my fan fiction. Speaking of fan fictions…I suddenly had an idea to have a look at my old fan fiction (mainly my Lost ones that I wrote about two years ago now.) Upon re-reading it I actually realized, much to my shock, that I still like them. I mean, sure, they do need improvement but I still like what I wrote. So I think I will be putting them up on my blog as well- eventually, some day.

What else in the fan fiction corner? I am not sure if I mentioned this before but I have actually start writing my Genbu Kaidena fan fiction, not much as I lack time, but I have got a few pages done, and hopefully I can be putting that up too.

What happened last time: Yuri’s secret is finally revealed: she is actually Miaka’s half sister, but her relationship with Miaka is a very distant one, as Miaka only manages to remember her in her delirious fevered status. Due to being guilty for not having tell Hotohori about her real identity two years ago, and perhaps be the priestess and save Konan, she decides to leave him, as she is afraid of him hating her once he knows the truth…




The journey to Tai Yi-Jun’s place was certainly entertaining and full of surprises, especially when Miaka found out the true sex of Nuriko.
“You are a man and yet you try to get Hotohori’s attention.” Miaka protested again, as they waited for Tai Yi-Jun to finish her preparations.(1)
“Love such as mine has no boundary.” Nuriko declared passionately. Strangely, he was getting quite fond of this girl.
“Nuriko, even if it doesn’t matter for you, I don’t think Hotohori can accept that, even if he is not in love with his wife.” Miaka reminded him. (2)
“Can that…hag really send Miaka home?” Tamahome began to complain again as he joined them.
“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!”
At the sudden arrival of Tai Yi-Jun and Chichiri, another celestial warrior of Suzaku, both Miaka and Nuriko laughed nervously and pointed to the culprit.
“Hmph.” Tai Yi-Jun snorted but she didn’t do anything to Tamahome, who was already prepared for some magical lash. “I can send you back, Priestess of Suzaku.”
“That’s great!”
“When you come back again,” the goddess continued as if uninterrupted by Miaka. “Tell this to the emperor of Konan- Hotohori: that he must not forget his duty as a celestial warrior. It is to protect the Suzaku priestess, not his empress.”
Hotohori did not come as he could not be away from his kingdom for such a long time. Still, Miaka had left the palace with a grand flourish, the emperor himself kissed her hand while the empress pecked her on the cheek, then the two had watched them leave, their hands joined together.
“So you went and found out why he didn’t come, and you saw something that is bothering you instead of just annoying you.” Chichiri said.
“Yes,” Tai Yi-Jun admitted. “I saw him with his empress in my mirror and something about her worries me. I can not tell what it is but I felt a very strange feeling when I saw her…she seemed out of place.”
“As if she doesn’t belong to our world?”
“I do not know, though I should be able to know if that is the case. Perhaps that is what is worrying me the most. But I know one thing, she is not meant to be the priestess of Suzaku, Miaka is.” Realizing that the others were still watching them she coughed and said: “Well, let us began then, shall we?”

“And closing her eyes the priestess thought of the world which she came from, her family and her dearest friend.” Yui continued reading the book eagerly, still wandering where Miaka went in her subconscious.
“And then she appeared…”
“YUI!” within seconds Yui found herself half buried by Miaka, who attached herself onto her so tightly that she was almost being strangled.
“Miaka, what just happened?”
The story was a not an easy one to believe but after all that happened: the blood and water on her uniform, Yuri had to believe Miaka’s story.
“And one more thing, Yui, have you heard the name Houki before? It sounds so familiar but I can not recall it.”
“Houki? I think I have…oh I remember, you must be thinking about Houki Yuri.”
“Houki Yuri?” now that she thought about it Miaka could remember someone telling her that Houki was only the empress’ title, not her name. And she could recall an occasion when Hotohori’s eyes had rested on a vase of lilies, and he had muttered something about how they were his empress’s favourite flowers as they had something to do with her name. Miaka deeply regretted that she did not pay as much attention as she should have.
“So who is Houki Yuri then?”
“Miaka, she is your half sister! Have you forgotten all about her completely?”
At once Miaka remembered and understood everything. Yes, Houki Yuri, that was the name of her half-sister. She remembered first seeing her when she was only five years old. Yuri had been eight years old and even then her hair was done in that pretty way with a single ribbon. As their parents argued, Yuri had turned to them, hoping to find assurance. Sadly, they never gave it to her at all during all these years.
It would be unfair to blame Miaka for not recognizing Yuri immediately as Yuri had moved out of their house when Miaka was only twelve or so. Even before she moved out, they hardly saw her.
Technically she should be about eighteen now, but the people in Konan had told her their empress was twenty years old, and had been married to the emperor for two years.
But why wasn’t Yuri glad to see her at all? Why did she avoid her? Most of all, why did she show so much happiness and even relief, when Miaka failed to recognize her, instead of some sadness?
Maybe it is because she is angry at us and simply wants to forget all about us now that she have a new life, Miaka reasoned, she never realized that Yuri only ever blamed herself for being unwanted. I must see her, and then make amends with her.
“Do you remember her now? I saw her once or twice when I went to your house. I remembered she was all dressed up with a pair of high heels as she was about to go work or something.” Yui continued. (3)
“Yui, I saw her in the book world.” Miaka spelt out slowly. “She is married to the emperor there. She had been there for at least two years.”
“Maybe it is because time passes differently in the two worlds. You had been there for such a long time but in here, only two hours passed.”
“I…I want to find out more about Yuri. Yui, I don’t even know about my sister at all. I want to find out because I will return to that world so I want to be a sister to her!”

“About Yuri?” Miaka’s brother frowned at this. “Why do you want to know about Yuri?”
“Doesn’t matter, tell me!” Miaka yelled incoherently, waving her arms energetically.
“She’s curious as she thought she saw someone that might have been Yuri when we were in the library.” Yui lied smoothly, pushing Miaka aside. After all, the story of: “I ended up in a world in this book and I saw Yuri there, married to one of the characters in the book” was not easily accepted.
“You saw Yuri?” at this outburst from Keisuke the two girls exchanged curious glances.
“Have you been in touch with her secretly, Onichan?” Miaka asked eagerly.
“No, I know as little as you, but a couple of months ago I saw this.” After taking a careful glance at the corridor to make sure that their mother was nowhere near, Keisuke pulled out a poster that was bookmarked between the pages of one of his text books.
On that poster was a large photo of Yuri, staring back at them, not smiling, never smiling. On top of the photo was the large red letters of ‘Person missing’. Upon seeing the date Miaka gasped, she had only been missing for six months, so there was some sort time difference!
“I saw this stuck up by the police when I was on my way home. I then did some inquiry, even if we rather our father to never have done what he did with her mother, she is still our sister.
“Apparently, Yuri had moved into this rather shabby apartment, and one day she left her apartment and never came back, so said the apartment manager. The police are actually trying to find her, as they think she is kidnapped because she didn’t take any of her stuff with her, so she was not preparing to leave or anything.”
“Onichan, what was she like, our half sister?”
Keisuke shook his head rather sadly, “I never get to know her much, you know that our mother forbid us to talk to her. The only think I could say for certain is that she always seemed so sad, as she rarely smiled.”
At that moment Miaka decided that she would go back and finish her quest, not only for herself but for her mysterious half sister’s happiness as well. Although she did not see Yuri much she was sure that Yuri was happy in Konan as she was with Hotohori, whom she loved and was loved by in return, and Hotohori had told her that until six months ago Yuri had been very happy.

In the palace of Konan, Yuri was taking her last look at Hotohori. Due to the herbs she secretly crushed, he was sleeping very soundly. Was she risking being labelled as a traitor by mixing some of the sleeping draughts the royal physician had gave her in the emperor’s tea?
“Why do I fee that you wouldn’t be here when I wake up tomorrow?” Hotohori had said strangely, tightening his arms around her even more.
“Don’t be so silly, of course I will be here, you must rest as much as you can.” she had laughed nervously, tracing his face with her fingers. “I love you so much, you know that.”
“So promise me that you wouldn’t leave me, then I will sleep.”
Kissing him, she nodded, even as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.
I am so sorry to lie to you again, Hotohori, Yuri thought sadly as she watched him smile in content and closed his eyes.
The draught did their jobs quickly, it was almost ironic as she only received them due to Hotohori worrying about her health.
Standing up she quickly dressed herself into the plain peasant’s dress that she had on her when she was taken by the guard these two years ago, why did it seem so long now? Dressing in the costume of a serving girl from the taverns was not a wise idea for a woman who planed to travel alone, but that was the simplest dress she had.
Taking the white ribbon that had unwound from Hotohori’s hair, she used it to tie her hair in a simple half-pony tail, it might be best for her to change her hair style for a while. Yuri then took her strand of pearls from her dressing table and tucked them into Hotohori’s hand so that they would be the first thing he saw, then he would find her letter.
Her other luggage were already packed, all they were was some money, her sword, a dagger and a copy of the sacred book that she had secretly copied. Strangely she decided to take her fan with her although she probably shouldn’t.
This would be her repentance, to try and find the rest of the celestial warriors for Hotohori right now, because who knew how long it would take for Miaka to come back with this time difference. And any time that passed until Suzaku came was time she must spend apart from him. (4)
Closing her eyes she allowed the tears to fall before she walked up to Hotohori and knelt beside him once more.
She kissed him gently and softly, then she turned and took the first step away from him.
“Forgive me, Hotohori.” She whispered. “But don’t think that I am doing this because I no longer love you, I am leaving because I love you.”

The palace of Konan was very different from what Miaka had remembered, it seemed that everyone was possessed by some sombre spirit. Well, Miaka decided, she would be the one to change it!
“Nuriko, why the long face!” she hugged her friend happily. “Actually, why the long face from everyone? Is it because I went away too long?”
“Miaka…Houkigou is gone.” Nuriko said sombrely. “Three months ago, when we were at Tai Yi-Jun’s palace, she left the palace.”
“That can’t be true, you are joking!” Miaka refused to believe that her sister was no longer here after she finally found out about their relationship. She had wanted to tell Yuri about her discovery so much, and she even fantasized about a joyful sisterly reunion!
“Miaka, why would I joke about such things?” Nuriko snapped back. “The whole palace is in a mess partly because most of the servants idolise the empress, while the others are like that because of the emperor.”
“What is happening to Hotohori now?” she knew too well how much Hotohori loved his empress…her sister. She recollected how worried he had been when one of his advisors told him that Yuri had fainted, and she remembered the sadness in his voice as he told her that his ultimate desire was to make Yuri happy.
“The emperor… he is not doing well.” And that statement might be described as the understatement of the century.

Hotohori was kneeling in Yuri’s chambers again, the strand of her pearls constantly in his hands almost like a rosary, and he would often reread the letter she had wrote. His hair was no longer so carefully tied up for court, and although he was still dressed regally as befitted of a man in his status, it was clear that he no longer cared that much about how he appeared. (5)
“Yuri…why?” he whispered again, feeling tears falling down again.
He still did his duty but his sadness was so deep that it pained his subjects to even look at him, because they all knew that he did not wish to be here, however hard he tried to conceal it.
His mornings were still taken up by the court, and due to the recent problems with Kutou the business of the state often extended to the afternoon. But he would either spend his free time here, in her room, or in front of the statue of Suzaku, with her as the subject of his prayers once more.
The night was the worst part of the whole day. He could not bear to sleep on the bed in her chamber as he had done almost every night for the past two years, as she was no longer there. But his empty bed was equally bad, he would recall all these lonely days once more, and there had been times when she laid with him here, so it was still a reminder. Before, he had been so happy when she slept there, because she was creating happy memories for him, but now, the loneliness was attacking him again.
“Hotohori…”
“Miaka?” he could no longer view her in the same way again after what Yuri had told him in her letter. But she was so different from Yuri, even if they were just half sisters.
“I heard about how Houkigou…”
“You know her real first name, Miaka.” he showed Miaka Yuri’s letter to him. “Yuri left me this letter, in it she told me that you are her half sister. Listen to this and listen carefully, because I will not repeat what you missed.” Taking a deep breath Hotohori began to read the letter, though out this his free hand was tightly clenched and he was shaking slightly. (6)
Waking up in the morning, he was deeply shocked when he discovered that she was no longer in his arms. At first he thought she might be praying in front of Suzaku, but then he felt the pearls she put in her hands: it was like a parting gift.
He soon found the letter…upon reading it he started to weep and found himself unable to stop, even when he heard the distant uproar at the absence of the emperor at court.
He did not know how he actually managed to attend court that day without a very obvious breaking down, all the others’ words were suppressed by what Yuri had say to him the previous night: that she would not leave him.
“Hotohori,” he began, his voice the lightest whisper, “I love you, always remember that. All that I am doing, I am doing because I love you, not because I no longer love you.
“By the time you read this letter I would be gone, and probably some distance from the city now. Do not try to find me Hotohori, because that is not what I want.
“I must tell you the truth, what I hide for the past two years. I told you that I am a stranger in your country, that is true, but I failed to tell you that I am also foreign to your world. I am from another world, so I might have been able to call out Suzaku.
“But I did not want to because I wanted to be with you. It was selfish I know, because my death would have spared all this worrying about wars but I wanted to marry you, so that is why I never told you of my true origin. (7)
“I was so happy just by being with you, because I love you so much, and know that you will always love me. Even when others started to whisper that I was barren, I was still rather happy just by being beside you. I love you even more when you refused to elect another concubine although you would not be wrong to do so.
“Then Miaka came…I know you wander why I was so hostile to her. That is because Miaka might know who I am. I told you that I was the result of an affair, Miaka is my father’s legitimate daughter, whom I lived with in the same house for a few years upon my mother’s death. I refused to see her as I feared that she would recognize me, and in doing so you would find out that I am actually from that world.
“That was why I was so happy when Miaka asked who I was, but Hotohori, when she was sick she remembered her shadowy half-sister. I cannot bear to see your face when you discover my secret. To see you hating me, I rather die.
“I think I am being punished for being so selfish, so I want to repent myself somehow. Perhaps I owe a duty to everyone in Konan too, but I am still selfish because beloved, I am only doing this because of you. I will go and try to find the celestial warriors, and maybe I can make things easier for you somehow, and let Suzaku be summoned faster. (8)
“Hotohori, I cannot ease this guilt I have until Suzaku is summoned, then I will go back to you if you want me to. I am sorry for breaking my promise to you but then, you had broken yours too, although it is not your fault at all.
“I love you.
“Please forgive me.”
There was nothing Miaka could do but to walk up to Hotohori and hug him, hoping to offer him some support through this gesture, even though it was his sister that he desired to embrace.
“Yuri, you stupid girl, you did nothing wrong.” Hotohori whispered brokenly, his voice muffled by the tears that always appeared when he read that letter. “I would never have forced you to be the priestess of Suzaku if the price is to lose you! You are the most important thing to me, you are first, Konan is second! I told you that I would never let my kingdom take me away from you permanently so why this…
“What am I suppose to do now? What do I do when you are not here beside me? How can I continue…”
“I am so sorry Hotohori, you love my sister so much and…”
“Perhaps too much for a man in my position, but then with her I am Hotohori, not only Saihitei. I truly wish that I am just a simple man, so I can be with Yuri as much as I want, and give her the attention she deserves. But yet I was content with my current life because by being there, Yuri made me happy, as she made my life the best as it could be. I could go through my days more easily because there was the knowledge that I would be with her eventually. I…how do I explain this?
“Until I met Yuri I was alone because I am an emperor. I…my father died when I was fourteen, and my mother made me the emperor as my father never chose which one of his sons should succeed so they naturally asked his empress. My mother made me the new emperor although I wasn’t even the eldest son of neither my father nor her. (9)
“I never wander why though, it was because I was easier to manipulate. I was a more willing puppet then either of my elder brothers. My elder brother was three years older and he was filled with many radical ideas, he was also so much more strong willed then me.
“Then there was my other elder brother, one of my half brothers. He was the oldest out of all my father’s children, six years older then me, yet his mother was only a concubine. I think my mother did not consider him as a candidate, as all his life he was deeply resentful of my brother and I, for being borne from the empress.
“Not that it mattered much, my mother being the main consort instead of the side one, as my father did not favour any of his children. He was always too occupied with the business of the state to bother about his children.
“So I became the Emperor…and Konan broke into a civil war, my two elder brothers both lead a rebellion against me, each supported by one of my other half brothers. My mother was harsh and even cruel in crushing the resistance.
“The strings that tied around me were cut with the death of my mother, but the puppet fell into a cage. I was surrounded by a permanent silence even though I was constantly surrounded by people. It is such a strange feeling, to be lonely even if I am always with people. (10)
“I think it is because I was always apart from everyone else by being the emperor. To everyone I was only an object instead of a person, reverence and respect being the barrier that separated me from everyone else.
“Then I saw Yuri and I loved her the moment I saw her, although I could not explain why I immediately wanted her to be my empress.” At this memory Hotohori smiled slightly. “She thought that I was crazy for wanting to marry her after I just met her.
“The more time I spent with her the more I love her. I ended up so happy whenever I was with her because she made me stop feeling lonely. When she told me she love me I was so happy because for the first time in my life I was special to some one as a normal man, not as the emperor. (11)
“That is why,” Hotohori chocked out, now grabbing Miaka’s hand very firmly. “I am begging you to find the rest of the celestial warriors and summon Suzaku as fast as you can.
“I go down on my knees, Miaka, to beseech this of you. I am not just begging you as an emperor on behalf of his kingdom, but also as a man for the sake of the return of the one he need and love the best.”
Miaka’s eyes were filled with tears too, she crouched down so she could be on eye level with Hotohori, before she nodded.

As I said in the front, this story is focusing on Hotohori and Yuri so the rests’ part will get diluted. Miaka, Nuriko and Tamahome managed to travel to Tai Yi-Jun’s place without that much trouble and she didn’t test them with the mirror. And Hotohori didn’t go with them, that should be alright cause I’m sure they never said all the celestial warriors had to be there. And Chichiri just comes out because as I mentioned, this story focuses on Yuri and Hotohori.
2 It’s so weird having to describe Nuriko using the masculine version. Any way that is a point I think most of us have thought about, the fact that it is not just Nuriko not minding about her gender. Hotohori have to not mind as well.
3 Yui started working at a very young age.
4 This is not Yuri’s purpose, I think I better clarify this now in case some people think that Yuri is sent to the book world for this sake. She is not sent into the book for the sake of finding the celestial warriors of Suzaku during the period of Miaka’s absence. Her real purpose will be discovered a few chapters later.
5 Considering how vain he is this should be quite a clear sign of him being very upset at what happened. Actually, this is not the first time I used his vanity so show his love for Yuri. Yuri is pretty and rather beautiful but most people would still regard her as rather normal. But Hotohori regards her as very beautiful, even more beautiful then him because he loves her so much. It is love at first sight!
6 Hotohori sounds a bit cold, but given what happened it is probably reasonable. Reading that letter out aloud will defiantly be harder then just reading it silently.
7 I think the reason Yuri feels such a strong guilt and really believe in the concept of the greater good is partly due to the fact that as a child, she would have been constantly reminded that her presence is a blight to her father’s family, and been accused of ruining the family’s happiness by Miaka’s mother. (as mentioned before, she was the result of an adulterous affair) I don’t like Miaka’s mother, but I’m not trying to make her a villain because I think her blaming Yuri a lot will be very logical and even understanding, to find out that your husband had an affair and then having to have the result of the affair living in your house with you children, and even worse, to still house her when your husband left. In fact the last action is rather admirable, as she is under no obligation of keeping Yuri in her house.
I think the other reason of why Yuri has such a strong guilt complex is due to her being the consort of an emperor, she would be constantly witnessing the idea of the greater good: acting for your people instead of doing what you want. Also, she will be constantly reminded of this by Hotohori’s advisors when she failed to show signs of pregnancy.
8 I know that technically only the Suzaku priestess can find the celestial warriors but in a way Yuri is not breaking the rule, she will find them but ultimately they only joined the rest when Miaka finds them. So I guess what Yuri will be doing is persuasion and making the path a bit easier, but it is still Miaka who must travel the path. Well, next chapter will show what happens.
9 These information are from winkepaedia, and I later found out that they are from the Hotohori novel. But when I wrote this, I had not read the Hotohori novel yet, so this is purely my version that I made up after reading the manga. He had two half younger sisters, and three half brothers (Ogi, Bogyoku and Kotsuki) and an elder brother named Shu Tendo. I think that in ancient China the eldest son does not always became the heir, even though he usually will be the heir. There were many cases when emperors would not tell anyone who the heir is, and the people would only discover the information hidden somewhere after the emperor’s death, I think the Qing dynasty tended to do that, but I am not that sure. I can remember reading this story when I was little about how a emperor in the Qing dynasty wrote on this paper that his fourteenth son should be the heir, but the forth son took the paper and changed it so he became the heir. Since Hotohori is not the eldest either way I thought that there was some sort of semi conspiracy going on as he ended up being the emperor. (until I read the novel I thoughts all of his siblings were living in the palace like him.). Although it seemed that he was the heir all along in the manga as they called him (when he was little) the title they use for the heir.
10 I really love what Hotohori said in regard to his loneliness because he said it in such a beautiful way so that is why I want to make this bit really good. I admit that I am biased but I am really moved by him in that bit of the manga/anime.
Also, I am personally interested in the concept of being alone even with people around you, because sometimes I feel that way too.
11 I really liked writing this part because my fan fiction allows me to twist the story, as I always feel so so so sad when I read the bit when a young Hotohori thought about the Suzaku priestess as someone who would love him for him who he is, not what he is. It is so sad that his hope and dream did not come true.


April 16th, 2007
Neverwinter Nights fan fiction: Five Years
9:43pm
Tags: computer games, fan fiction

Gosh…I can’t believe that half of the holidays have past. While I can’t say that I have been working full stop, I have been doing some work…so it was not wasted…I guess. I suddenly wrote this story two nights ago as I was evading my history essay- which I will have to start doing very soon, probably tomorrow. But I am pretty afraid of that essay as it is worth so much, and so basically if you screwed it up you are screwed…

Somehow I started to think about Neverwinter Nights, and I thought about how sad the story of Neverwinter Nights become in the end, especially the story of Aarin Gend and the PC- as she left the city while he obviously stayed there. I was so sad to find that out when I played the sequel (for more explanation see the previous review of the game itself.)

I guess I ended up writing a random one-shot, although I might extended it later. But for now it is an one-shot, a random enough piece. As for the title, I have no idea as to what I should call it, but I don’t want to leave it untitled, so somehow the title of ‘Five Years’ just come out. It’s a pretty obvious title once you read the story…



He knew fully well that once she left him, he would probably never be able to grasp her hand once more. He also knew too well, that such a miracle was not likely to happen a second time.
That was why he pulled her into his embrace without answering her.
But she gently stepped back, shaking her head.
“Give me the answer, Aarin.” She repeated, her voice hardening. “I must know you answer first.”
Still he said nothing, he only continued to look at her in that silence he was long used to, but silence was no longer the perfect refuge. He could not continue to take shelter in it as he once did.
She taught him how to love again, and he could not simply forget her lessons and retreat into the lonely world he had live in. No, he would miss her, he needed her now that he found her…he did not want to be lonely when he realized what it was like to experience companionship, as well as being loved in return.
Yet his duty was equally important. He loved this city that he was bound to serve, and he did not know whether he could forgive himself if he abandoned it right now, when it needed him to help it to heal.
“So you do love the city more then me.” She whispered accusingly. “So I am to lose not due to another woman…not due to you dead lover, but to this city.”
It was Neverwinter who gave him his purpose of living when he was on the edge of losing his identity. That was the reason of his devotion, for the city had become his reason of existence, and by serving it he as able to make peace with himself.
It was even Neverwinter who brought him to her.
He remembered how she had seemed so strong when he first met her, leaving him with no doubt that this capable women was the hero most claimed her to be.
She had been wearing her armour with her spear beside her, and the design had made him examine it closely, as it was from the Uthgard tribe- who rarely give their weapons to outsiders, and she was said to be from Amn.
Upon a closer look, he saw that it was actually a weapon of the ultimate honour. Only given to those who were regarded as a hero by the tribe.
Strangely enough he kept on recollecting how her hair had been braided and then wounded up around her forehead, with only a green ribbon as an additional ornament.
Her hair was now completely loose and decorated with flowers, while a simple dress has replaced her armour. She was showing him that they could leave all this behind and become a pair of ordinary lovers: not the duty-bound spymaster and the soon to be out of favour hero of Neverwinter, but just as a man and woman. (1)
“I can not do what you want.” He said. “Raven, I cannot leave this city, at least not right now. Neverwinter needs me.”
“Do I not need you too?” she interrupted bitterly.
“Perhaps I am like most men, for I do wonder whether the woman I love need me if she is so capable herself.” He admitted sadly.
“Then know that I am like most woman. ‘Capable’ as I might be, I do not want to be alone. I do need you! Come with me, Aarin,” she implored once more. “You have done too much for this city already. But I…I have received you love and nothing else. I need your presence too!” (2)
“I must see Neverwinter recover.” He began , grabbing her hand. “Give me but a few years time…”
“I will not stay in this city anymore!” she retorted angrily, snatching her hand away. “Aarin, it is too late for you to heal this place! It has already died. The balance has tilted too much.”
“Then I must help the city to be reborn.”
“I will not stay here.” She repeated. “I doubt that I can stay here even if I want to.”
“Will you…will you not wait for me?”
He desperately wanted her to nod, but he was no longer so naïve as to think of love as being something that was eternal. The truth was that it was not easy to retain your love on someone when you believed them to not love you enough. Even worse, was when you loved someone who was no longer by you side.
They both knew this, but they had learnt their lessons differently.
“You are not the first man I have loved,” She whispered as she reached to clench his necklace in her first tightly. “But I had hoped that you would be the last…I still hope that you would be the last man I love. I know though, that love is such a weak and fragile being. The balance of the love we bear for the ones who are no longer there is the easiest thing to be outweighed.”
“I only need five years.”
“That is too long a time. I can not promise you anything. Why…” much to his surprise she actually began to cry. Shocked, he could only act on his instinct. Wiping her tears with his hand before he embraced her tightly.
“Why do you love this city more then me?” her voice was muffled, and tears were actually openly streaking down from her face. He had never seen her cry before, not even when she witnessed the executions, as she knew that she, out of all people, had to act strong.
“Did you not say that you want to be with me more then anything? What about your dreams of travelling on the sea with me.”
“I do want to be with you more then anything.” He said firmly, “But Raven, I own Neverwinter this much. That is why, I cannot go with you right now.”
“Cities are always ravaged…will you have me wait for you forever?”
Tilting her head up she gave him a brief kiss before she pushed him away. Turning around she shook her head sadly before she began to walk toward the door…
Walking away from him.
“I only ask for five years, Raven.” He implored again.
“I will try.” Raven said very softly, closing her eyes she let her tears slide down her face silently this time. “I will try and remember that you love me so much. Most of all, I will even tell myself that I am the one you love the most, that you do love me more then this city.”
Then she left him, and he could only hope that this would not be the last time he would be able to see her.
The only hope that he could cling onto was the image of how she had been grasping the necklace which he had gave her. He was sure that she wanted to stay in love with him as well.
But it was hard for them to not abandon idealism, as too much had already happened. (3)
“I do love you, and I always will.” He promised.
Walking to his desk, he began to scribble on the map of Neverwinter that he had been studying before she entered. After only a few moments he laid his quill down in frustration.
All he could think now, as he stared at the map, was whether she had been to these various places, and what she had done there.”
“Have I made a mistake?” he asked himself as he picked up his quill once more.
“Is my duty to Neverwinter that much weaker then my love for you?” (4)

1 This bit is referring to how the hero fall out of favour with Lord Nasher
2 What I am trying to say is that she is saying that she is an ordinary woman, an ordinary human, even though people are regarding her as a hero, and that like most people, she cannot bear to be alone.
3 I am not sure if I agree with this, as I think Aarin Gend is actually still very idealistic despite all that had happened to him. But somehow this line came out…
4 One last thing: this PC is a druid.

By the way I really think I should do a review on Weiss as I finished watching Weiss Kreuz Gluehn the other day, yes I know! I am so bad! I shouldn’t be watching it but… I just thought I’ll watch an episode per day but somehow I ended up watching four episodes per day…although the good thing is that it only has thirteen episodes in total, so it is not that long. But I really like it…although it does not exactly something that cheers you up. In fact, it is definitely not something to watch if you are in a bad mood. But it is such a deep anime…deep as in the way that it really makes you think…ponder. It is also a very realistic story, which is kind of sad, because reality can suck at times. And of course, Aya (aka Koyasu Takehito) is in it as the main character and he get some of the best lines that is ever said by any character in the anime world. (an absolutely funny thing, I can almost recognize the phrase ‘leave quickly if you are not buying anything’ from watching Weiss)