autumnleaf16

A lot of stuff had been happening with my life and I will hopefully be updating these soon as well. But first of all, I want to put my fan fiction up on my blog, although I don’t really know why. I’ve decided to put my fan fictions up on a weekly basis just because I can, I guess (one chapter every week). I decided to put my fushigi yugi fan fiction up because I regard that as the best fan fiction I have written. So here it is, please have a read, and if you like it please go to fanfiction.net where you can read the whole and completed thing. I haven’t actually changed much of the story saved for some typo and grammar error that I discovered, so it’s the same thing.
Warning: my grammar is bad but I like to think that this is still readable.

Title: Hidden Secrets
Pairing: Hotohori and OC
Written at: June 3 to July 8 2006
Category: romance
Summary: Yuri, a young girl from Tokyo arrives in the universe of the four gods, and becomes Hotohori’s empress. They lived in happiness for two years until Miaka’s arrival as she felt very guilty for not telling him about the truth of her identity.
Author’s Note: I suddenly had the idea to write a fan fiction for fushigi yugi and I did. As I said, it is an OC story, which means I put in my own original character. At that time I felt that most of the fushigi yugi fan fictions I see on fanfiction.net are too comical so my goal was to write a serious one, so I think my story is in some part more grim. My OC is called Yuri, and since I really like the name Houki I borrowed it, so that is her last name. In the manga and anime Hotohori is sometime refereed to as Saihitei (彩賁帝), and for those who doesn’t know this is his title, which translates to Emperor Saihi. In Chinese history the rulers often have a title that is not their name. So in the same way, I will sometime refer to Yuri as Houkigou, which means empress Houki. (鳳綺后.)




In the very end, there were one hundred chosen young women from the whole of Konan to be concubines for the emperor, who was meant to chose his empress from them. She would be the most lucky one for she would be the official consort of the emperor, and it would be her that receive the attention of the most powerful man of Konan, and if she was successful in being fertile quickly, her future happiness would most likely be secured.
Unlike the rest, who, if they were extremely lucky, might occasionally obtain some attention from the emperor. Most likely though, they would end up being shut in the back of the palace for the rest of their life. (1)
“Your majesty, all you need to do is choose one woman that is pleasing to you and name her as the empress, and it will all be done!” his advisor who organized all this said again, as Hotohori said nothing but criticism at every women that they brought in. “This is not choosing an advisor! You can just choose a beautiful woman, you do not need to test them as you had.”
“I am more beautiful then all of these women so far.” Hotohori replied, his tone was light but there was not doubt that he believed in what he said. “So I want one who I can at least talk to.”
Once again, his advisors exchanged glances, so far, sixty women had come and their emperor was clearly dissatisfied. Yet these one hundred women were all carefully selected, if he was not pleased with them, then they doubt that any other women could satisfy him.(2)
“Next,” the main advisor resumed.
At the sight of the young girl that walked in Hotohori was tempted to slap his advisor, a very undignified thing to do, but he was truly shocked! This girl was probably only twelve!
“Are you trying to say I am such a man who prefer girl child to woman?” he hissed to his advisor in great disgust.
“Forgive me!” having served in the palace since the current emperor’s father reigned, the offending man knew how to act quickly to pacify the royal wrath: he immediately knelt and grovelled in front of the emperor.
The young girl exited, only to have re-entered immediately. At this one of his advisors quickly moved to guide the girl out in case the barely calmed royal wrath boiled again.
“I am not the girl who just came in.” the girl managed to whisper out. “I am her twin.”
“How old are you?” Hotohori asked kindly, he did not succeeded in making her smile, but she was at least not trembling that much.
“I will be thirteen soon.”
Hotohori nodded, he smiled at her and gestured to the door. At this the girl happily went, obviously relived that he did not choose her. A bit angry, he said coldly: “Two twelve year old girls?”
“You majesty I elected these women for you in the same fashion I had elect the concubines of your father. Beautiful girls were rounded up from every area to enter the palace to be tested, and out of all these only the most beautiful, elegant…”
“What I am asking you is why you picked two twelve year old girls.”
“I believe there was some problems in that street and these two were the only suitable ones, even though there were pretty girls a many there,” at this the man began to feel rather nervous. “These two and one other woman were the only virgins who were beautiful enough to be chosen there due to the nature of the street’s business.”
“I see.” Hotohori smiled sadly, although no one else could detect the sadness. “Very well, continue.”
The next woman was also from that street, but she was clearly older then the two girls. She appeared to be at least eighteen. She was dressed in the elaborate royal gown that was given to them all, but unlike most others, she did not wear any excessive decorations on her at all.
Her only ornament was a red ribbon that she wove into her hair. She managed to hold the upper half of her long waist length hair up into an elaborate hair do with that one single ribbon.
Hotohori gasped as he met her eyes: for the first time in his life he was willing to admit that there was someone else more beautiful then him. Physically, she seemed perfect! She was just a bit shorter then him, and her skin was tanned slightly to not be sickly pale like those who viewed fairness to the extreme as the ultimate beauty. Her hair was very dark, a raven black that matched his, but the texture of her hair differed by being curly.
Most of all, her eyes astonished him. They were such a lovely shade of rich brown that he was completely lost into them.
“What is your name?” he whispered.
Behind him his advisors were frowning, unlike their ruler, they failed to see why he was suddenly losing the tight control he always had. To them, this latest candidate was rather beautiful, but she did not stood out to them at all from the other ninety nine women they had seen.
“My name is Houki Yuri.” she quickly added: “Your majesty.” (3)
That slightest hesitation made him wonder.
“Do you not know who I am?” he asked curiously.
“I never expected to meet the emperor.” She explained in reply.
This was not an odd answer, especially when the street she came from was filled with taverns and brothels for the lower and middle class.
“You were chosen…”
It seemed Yuri was unable to control herself as at the word chosen, she snickered slightly. As Hotohori raised an eyebrow at this she quickly blushed and then knelt down.
“Forgive me…” she began.
“No, do not kneel.” Much to everyone’s surprise he stood from his seat to crouch beside her. “I want to know the truth, of how you came to be in the palace.”
“I arrived in your kingdom a week ago, and I became a worker in a tavern.” She began slowly, for she was thinking about the place of her origin. “One day, imperial soldiers came and tried to find all the virgins in the street. When they reached the tavern I worked in, the owner shoved me forward and said: ‘take this woman, she is much more beautiful then my two daughters, and she is a virgin as well even though she is eighteen years old.’
“They took me although I screamed and struggled, but my capture didn’t help the owner either. In the end they still took his two daughters. I do not know why at all, they say the emperor is only eighteen, but his two twin girls are not even thirteen.”
“I am eighteen.” Hotohori confirmed, he took her right hand into his and raised it to his lips. “I understand that you were forced here, so I wish that from now on in all that you do, you can have a choice.
“I desire you to be my empress, but I will only wed you if you wish to be my bride. Know that I have the power to make you my empress right away should I desire to, for it is my right to do so as the emperor. But I will not, because I wish to have your love.”
“You love me?” she said this in disbelieve, and she was frowning slightly. “I do not love you. How could I love someone that I only met today? How could you?”
“I do not know why, but I do love you.” Before, the only woman that interested him was the legendary priestess of Suzaku, but she, this woman in front of him, made him desire what was real instead of the dream he long spent his time in. He knew from tonight that he would no longer ponder about the woman in the legend, but he would be thinking of this woman in the palace…if she stayed that is.
“Will you at least give me a chance to win your love?”
Much to his delight, she nodded. At this he saw it as a signal for him to stand up with her hand linked in his, he would use the rest of this time more productively, he would take her around the palace, showing her all the beauty that would be her’s.
“Your majesty, what about the rest…”
“There is no need, for I have found,” he smiled at Yuri, “the woman I desires as my empress.”

Yuri dragged the elaborately decorated comb through her hair as she pulled her hair ribbon off, the events of the last two months were both scary and yet wonderful. To think that she, Houki Yuri, who barely afforded the tiny room in one of the shabbiest street in Tokyo, was now living in the palace of this world.
Before she used to ration her money in order to buy the one or two things she wanted, not needed. Among them were her pretty dresses from the retail store, and the pair of stilettos she often wore. Now she was supplied with all these silk hand embroidered dresses.
Was she dreaming? Not that this world was kind to her the moment she entered. She had to live in daily harassment every day when she worked in the tavern, and when they brought her in the palace she imagined some sort of Middle Eastern harem.
The dress she wore today seemed especially fancy even by the standard of all the other ones that the emperor had gave her. At the thought of the emperor, Hotohori, she frowned slightly. Was it really possible for someone to be in love just due to a mere first meeting? She knew that these gifts he gave her would be nothing compared to all the wealth he had, but it was the fact that he valued her that much to purposely lavish these presents to her.
Maybe what she feared was not that he did not love her, but rather, he would not stay in love with her. Once again, she thought of her mother. Her mother always seemed to be in love with her boyfriends although she changed them on a basis of twice every year in the better relationship, with many weekly dates in between, these men she seemed to love too.
Her mother…at the thought of her Yuri felt tears welling up again. It was about ten years now but the mere thought of her mother still made her weep. It was because her mother was the one person who truly loved her.
From her mother, Yuri learnt that there was two different loves, the type of love that last forever, the lover her mother had for her only child. And of the other kind that was powerful, but lasted only so briefly, what her mother felt for all her lovers, including the boy she had ran off with at only fourteen.
“Are you alright, Yuri?”
“Hotohori,” he insisted on her calling him that in private. Quickly she wiped her tears away. “I was only thinking of my…my mother.”
He must have finished his daily business with the kingdom as he was dressed less formally, and his hair was unbound. Yuri had noticed that his hair was like part of his royal outfits, he always wore it up in court, and unbound or at least loosen it the moment his duties for the day finished. (4)
She was always so touched whenever he came to talk to her, because she was aware of how busy he was as the emperor.
“You were crying.” He said, touching her face gently. “Is it because of my courtiers? I really did not think that they would dare to harass you, as I told them that I don’t want any of them to persuade you to marry me.”
“It is not because of that.” She swallowed nervously. “I was just thinking of my mother.”
“Oh, I should have thought about this sooner. Yuri, where is she? If you want you can bring her here and…”
She shook her head to stop him from going on. “My mother is dead, Hotohori, she died when I was only eight.”
“I am so sorry,” he embraced her and she felt herself automatically relaxing in his arms. If only his love would last forever, then she was so sure that she would end up in love with him very quick!
“My mother died and I lived with my father, my mother was not married to him.” She continued, unsure of why she chose to tell him this, maybe it was because no one else other then her ‘family’ knew. “He met her and she had me when my father was already married. She was not a concubine but an…an adulterer…”
“I do not think less of you because of that.” Hotohori said firmly.
“Life was hard for me, I can not blame my father’s wife for hating me but it was so hard!” she felt her shoulders shaking and recognized that as a warning of her going to cry. “My father could not love me as he wanted nothing more then to forget the mistake he made, every one else naturally hated me for destroying their originally happy family.
“Since my mother died,” here she finally sobbed, “no one loves me.”
“But I love you.” Hotohori whispered. “What must I do for you to believe this? I really love you.”
“But will you love me long enough?” Yuri chocked out. “And even if I love you, am I loving you because I love you? I want to love you because I simply love you, not just because you are being kind to me and is the first person since my mother who loves me.”
She finally cried and he held her in his arms, whispering to her. She suddenly realized that this was the first time she cried with someone else beside her, before, she always cried alone.
Dimly, she felt herself being carried and then laid down. The rest of her body seemed to be lying on a soft surface but her head was resting on something that was different, to an extent it was soft but yet the firmness made her doubt it being a pillow.
Her hair was moving…she could suddenly see the end of it when she was sure that she laid on it. It took her a few second before she registered the gentle massaging of someone’s finger through her hair.
“Hotohori?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t be doing anything else other then this.” He promised, his voice a bit distant from her’s. “Thinking what you just did would naturally be hard, so I want you to just rest.”
She smiled as she finally fitted everything together. All of a sudden, her position became very comfortable. (5)
“I am sorry.” She whispered, stretching out her hand to his he immediately clasped it. “I am wasting your valuable time.”
“No, there is no waste at all.” He told her as he kissed her fingers. “I am spending my time with you, which is what I want.
“I want to love you so much,” she finally admitted, “I really wish that I can be your empress.”
The night gave both of them a newer understanding about the other, it also brought them a bit more closer.

Whenever the two of them were outside either of their private chambers, they were always carefully observed by the majority of Hotohori’s subjects.
“When he finally chose a woman he had to choose one that would be stupid enough to not agree to be empress immediately.” This was muttered again. “He is eighteen and he needs an heir, otherwise there can be a risk of a civil war, there are some who would willingly support any one of his brothers.”
“If only we can force her to agree to him immediately. It has been three months.”
“He made it clear that any harsh words we use against her will be dealt with as an insult to him.” This was spoken by one of his most senior advisors. “At least he wishes to marry.”
The couple that they were discussing were taking one of their walks in the luxurious royal garden. Hotohori was still in his formal court dress while Yuri was naturally dressed regally as well, on top of the gown she was also wearing jewelleries. They were walking with their arms linked, clearly very happy to be in the other’s company.
“There are many headdresses for you to wear if you desires to.” Hotohori was saying, not missing the opportunity to touch the natural crown of her hair. “You always wear it in a ribbon, although you do seem to change the ribbons.”
The ribbon on her hair tonight was actually one of his. Last night he had his hair down and loosely bound by a piece of white silk ribbon as he usually do when he prepared for rest, and when he declared his intention of giving her something again she had laughed and pulled off his ribbon, saying: “Give this ribbon to me then, and it will be one of the greatest gift because you used to wear it in your hair.”
“I think it is another sign of me holding onto my mother’s memory, because they used to be my happiest memory.” She said darkly. “I used to sit in her lap, and she would brush my hair for me, then tied it up like this with a single ribbon, which was the exact same way she tied her own hair. When I got a bit older she taught me how to do it and would let me do her hair.” She smiled a bit before she ended sadly, “before she died she made me kneel down against the bed so she could brush my hair a final time, that red ribbon was the last ribbon she tied into my hair.”
“But you are not wearing it any more.”
“I think I held onto the past too obsessively. I am willing to let some of it go because I want to start a new life. A life with you.” She added shyly.
He put his hands on her cheeks and drew her to face him, he was so close that his breathings dabbed her face.
“Are you willing to be my empress then?” his voice was barely audible as he was so worried and afraid at the answer.
She nodded, and she tilted her head so that her lips met his. The last three months she spent with him finally convinced her that he would love her forever, and that she was in love with him too. It was not that logical but then love was never so.
He made her realize that she was Yuri, and should not be overshadowed by her mother. She would trust her instinct, even though she feared to do so for the whole of her life for simply being her mother’s daughter. Her heart’s feelings for Hotohori were so intense that she firmly believed that she was not wrong.
She started to miss him fiercely whenever he was not there, and when he spent her time with her, she was so happy as she would finally forget her original bitter life. She did not know that what he did for her was what she did to him. Before, she would wake up with ‘Mama’ on her lips as a last desperate cry, but now, she woke with his name.
This was love. She believed with all her heart that it would stay.
“I am ready to start a new life, I believe I love you, and I know that you will always love me.” (6)
“You will marry me then?” he embraced her so tightly as he was so afraid of this new joy slipping away from her. He had already noticed that her presence, even if it was just in his mind, drove away all his accumulated loneliness. “You will marry me tomorrow if we could?”
She nodded the second time, she slipped her arms around him so she could lean onto him.
“Yuri, what flowers do you like?”
“Hotohori…” he suddenly let go of her and started to dart his gaze around.
“I wish to give you something immediately, and since we are in the garden, what better gifts?” he was almost laughing like a young boy.
“Lilies.” She said without any hesitation. “I have always loved the flower of my namesake the best.” (7)
He, the emperor of Konan, the most powerful man in the kingdom knelt down in the mud, dirtying his fine robe, to place his hands against the root. Yuri couldn’t help but to laugh, after three months she knew how vain he was! To her, this was a great sign of his love for her.
“Lilies.” He declared proudly as he placed the bosoms onto her hands. “Now I want a kiss from the lily herself.”
Unfortunately for him, he was interrupted by the loud cries of his advisors.
“Your majesty, what were you doing?” they all demanded anxiously.
“Oh, that?” he gestured to the soils on his robe with his muddy hands. “I was picking some flowers for the future empress of Konan.”
He turned to smile at Yuri but his smile changed to an expression of wonder as he saw that she was clutching to the lilies that he just gave her. She was stroking the petals lightly with one hand, while the other held them against her bosoms tightly.

The wedding was quickly arranged, to be held in only one week’s time. It was slower then what Hotohori had anticipated, but he felt much better when Yuri told him about how royal weddings in her old country took months, or even years to arrange.
“We should pray to Suzaku together for our happiness.” He told her on the eve of their wedding.
“Suzaku? The guardian of Konan? Will he listen to me, a foreigner?” she asked.
Hotohori had showed her the altar in his palace but she never really paid much attention to it, as she wasn’t religious at all.
“Since my childhood I would pray to Suzaku very often, at first it was for me to find some happiness, then for my kingdom and people when I became the emperor.” He told her as he knelt in front of the statue. “But recently I started to pray to Suzaku for myself again, to have the love of the beautiful woman whom I desire to be my empress.
“In a way it is almost strange,” he continued after they both finished. Yuri prayed very sincerely, as she actually believed that the guardian of the country of the man that she loved was responsible for making him love her. “As a child I imagined the legendary priestess of Suzaku to be the perfect woman, only to discover that she will not be, because I found her in you. Oh, you have not heard of the story at all?” he began to tell her the legend very quickly upon her confused face.
He failed to notice almost horror like expression that appeared.
“She have to be virginal?”
“She does not have to be, but she should, as otherwise the summoned God will demand her as a sacrifice, instead of just as a priestess.” (8)
“I don’t wish for such a fate.” She muttered softly, leaning against him, recalling what they did the night she agreed to marry him.
“Are you afraid about the state of my kingdom?” he misunderstood her completely. “Do not worry, Konan is in a state of prosperity.” (9)
She held onto him very tightly that night, even though they would be spending the majority of the next day together, parading in the town after the ceremony.
“I want you to be there forever.” She declared. “Promise me that nothing would take you away from me permanently, especially not your kingdom.”
“I promise I will. And there has been no major war in Konan since four years ago.” He assured her again. (10)
Lying next to him Yuri allowed herself to forget about everything, she would marry him the next day and be the empress of Konan, and she would pretend that she was from this world all along, not from the other world.
I am not meant to be the priestess of Suzaku, I am only meant to be his love. She vowed again, watching the sleeping figure of the man who would be her husband soon.
She would not let guilt eat her up again, but it was so hard to do so.
As soon as Hotohori declared their marriage, Yuri was treated as an empress in all but name. Everyone one saved for the emperor would bow to her, and she even had two personal maids. She thought about the two twin girls who were her first friends in this world, now shut in the palace as concubines. She asked Hotohori whether she could have them as her maids, and he agreed without any hesitation.
The empress was to have her own quarters in the palace, a little proportion of the palace would be hers. She didn’t like this rule much as it meant that she had to be some distance away from Hotohori, he had laughed and told her it was a tradition that would not really affect them as he intended to spend all of his leisure times with her anyway.
Marriage…she wanted and feared this at the same time. She was not just marrying any man, she was to be the bride of a ruler.
Wordlessly she left the bed, draping Hotohori’s discarded robe on her, she had wore his robes for many occasions now, but usually it was he who put them on her. Silently, she began to walk toward the main altar in the palace.
Kneeling down the closed her eyes, praying to Suzaku again.
“Let Konan be prosperous forever, because I don’t want to be the priestess of Suzaku, I don’t want to leave Hotohori ever. And let me be a child of this kingdom, not who I am. I don’t want any one to discover my identity.
When she thought of that night she often marvelled at the wonder of her not being spotted by any one in the tightly guarded palace. She slipped back into her chamber and found Hotohori still sleeping with a smile on his face.
She lay down next to him, and watched him until she too, fall asleep.

Yuri would wake up next morning with Hotohori’s arms around her, as if he never loosened his embrace.
In the next day she was crowned empress, and became the emperor’s official consort. Her wedding garment was the finest dress she ever wore and instead of a ribbon, she wove a string of pearls into her hair. Walking beside Hotohori with his hand holding her so tightly, she felt as if she really belonged to Konan.
“Houkigou!” Hotohori announced to his people, from now on this would be what everyone addresses her as. By being an empress, no one but the emperor could use her first name: Yuri. Not that many knew it, but from this day everyone would only call her by her title of Empress Houkigou.

1 Remembering the Chinese tv shows I watched set in ancient time and one or two of the books I read, life as one of the concubine in the palace is really harsh, you don’t get to go free even if you want to, and chances are the emperor wouldn’t even know you. Apparently quite a lot of women choose to kill themselves due to the loneness. Once more, since they are in a world like ancient China I thought I’ll make it some what realistic. Also, according to Yuu Watase, Hotohori have two elder brothers, one younger brother and two younger sisters. So I think it’s possible that his mother was either the favourite concubine or the empress, as he is not the oldest, but became the emperor.
2 Once again, I remembered one tv show had a character who almost got elected into the palace. And there was like all these tests, first they made sure whether she was pretty, then they looked at her posture, and then the made her read this poem to see if her voice was nice etc etc, it was not just about physical beauty.
3 Yes, I am “traditional” as the last name goes first, as in the Japanese and Chinese fashion.
4 Not fully true as when they found Nuriko, his hair was actually lose. But I really like this concept so I’m using it. Although the majority of his time his hair is not held up when he is not attending to the businesses of the kingdom. Make sense too, he does not need to appear that formal.
5 It should be quite obvious at what happened. Basically Yuri had a breakdown at the thought of her mother and about her relationship with Hotohori. So he held her in his arms, then carried her to her bed (he goes to her room when he have time). He laid her on the bed, then sat down and placed her head in his lap.
6 I could elaborate on these three months but since this is already an OC I don’t want to take forever doing this, analyzing her feelings for the whole of three months. To some extent I know that it is very illogical but hey, this is a story, fairy tale romances can happen.
7 Yuri is the Japanese word for lily.
8 This bit is altered for the sake of the plot. In this version the priestesses does not get eaten by the God unless they are not a virgin (which differs from the original story again, as only virgins could be the priestess.)
9 I remember how Hotohori said the priestess would only come when a kingdom is in great danger of war, or ending, but in the very beginning Konan doesn’t seem that bad. I presume the danger is the other kingdom’s wish of attacking them.
10 I am saying that there had been a civil war with his brothers, this theme is hinted in the story, but it is not explained fully, a bit vague.