autumnleaf16

I must say, I have been wrong!!! I was talking to this girl online, well…not talk talk, but talking via e-mail. And anyway through various bribes and threats and negotiations she keep on asking me to put my long entries under link. Initially I was just “No way!!!” but then due to latest bribe I decided to give it a go. So I put some of my link yesterday and I was thinking about deleting them today, so they are not under cut due to thinking that I shouldn’t just be like this, when I realised that my blog is looking much better due to the link/cut. So…

I have been wrong. She is right.

But anyway, I was at work the other day (which remind me, I have quite a lot of rant in regard to work that I want to put up.) but anyway, I heard the song “what about me” from the nearby radio and I just had a big shock, as that song seemed so applicable to my life at that stage. I had a fight with my sister at that time and the reason is because I felt that she doesn’t ‘respect’ me at all, that it is always about what she feel- that she refuse to even think about what I am feeling. But I mean, we were eating out and I told her that I don’t like people eating from my food. To be honest, I think it is more due to the fact that I don’t think I have a choice, so that is why I really don’t like it. And I seem to be proven right as my sister said the following: “I don’t care if you don’s like it or not but I am doing it anyway” That line still angers me even now…(although hitting my key board in anger is probably a really bad idea.) yes, I should snap back but I don’t want to argue with her as there has been times when arguing with my sister almost caused my mum to have a break down…

This is the song…taken from some website…

What About Me Lyrics (by Shannon Noll)
Well there's a little boy waiting at the counter of a corner shop
He's been waiting down there, waiting half the day
They never ever see him from the top
He gets pushed around, knocked to the ground
He gets to his feet and he says

What about me, it isn't fair
I've had enough now I want my share
Can't you see I want to live
But you just take more than you give

Well there's a pretty girl serving at the counter of the corner shop
She's been waiting back there, waiting for her dreams
Her dreams walk in and out they never stop
Well she's not too proud to cry out loud
She runs to the street and she screams

What about me, it isn't fair
I've had enough now I want my share
Can't you see I want to live
But you just take more than you give

So take a step back and see the little people
They may be young but they're the ones
That make the big people big
So listen, as they whisper
What about me

And now I'm standing on the corner all the world's gone home
Nobody's changed, nobody's been saved
And I'm feeling cold and alone
I guess I'm lucky, I smile a lot
But sometimes I wish for more than I've got

What about me, it isn't fair
I've had enough now I want my share
Can't you see I want to live
But you just take more than you give

I think the last line of the last verse is true, really applicable too, you know that you should be grateful for what you have, you know that you are really lucky, but you still can’t help but to wish for more. You need more. I certainly feel that way, if I can be fully acceptant about my life then I would never be doing any of the shits I have done when I get depressed. I know that I am quite lucky, but yet I can still get depressed. My defence is that our pain hurt even if they are not that heavy for the mere sake that they are happening to us. That is why, I think one of the worst thing you can ever say is “you have no right to complain, because I am hurting more then you.” But then how can you be allowed to complain? Because there will be numerous others who hurt more then you.